Feathered Wings of the Heart

20 Friday Aug 2010

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A freind of mine has started a blog about following spirit, and he writes beautifully! I encourage you to go and have a read… Revolve Your Spirit

His post today has inspired me to respond… if you know me, or have been following the Fey Hearted blog, you probably have seen that my Book  about finding your Faery Heart has reached completion, and is currently in the process of being born into the world in a special edition of 13 hardback books, each individually embellished by myself (when they finally arrive!).

Gwydion has written eloquently about how our wings will carry us to Spirit,to Heaven, to God Herself, and today he described how these wings must be grounded in our hearts. Our wings must be our own, our own colours, grown from our own desires, our own path.

And this makes me wonder, how is it that people who don’t know their own hearts can grow their wings again?

We are angels on earth, fallen, I agree.

But how is it that we might come to remember this?

For myself, it helped that my mother always told me to be true to myself… but the recognition that we could be more than simply office or factory workers, buried under the weight of grey streets and regimented work came from seeing people who did not live like that. Artists, street performers, tarot readers… people who danced at work, rather than trudged.

These examples of colour opened my eyes.

And then there were books… people wrote about their beliefs, their experiences, their hopes and dreams and worlds beyond this one.

I started with fantasy and could not believe that 9 to 5 was the only way to live.

And then, I found The Craft. A path which did not involve subservience to what is meant to be, but delight in all that is.

I found a map, well, in truth, a collection of fragments of maps which I found links between… have you ever noticed how all the maps of the multiverse have the same landmarks? And every map has your self at the heart?

So that is where I started, spiralling into my heart.

My point? If you live from your heart, as best you can at this moment, others will see.

If others see, they will also see, they can choose to do this too.

Be your Self, and others will see that they, too, can be their Selves.

One reason for my Faery Hearted Book is so that others with a heart like mine might find inspiration from its pages to let their heart shine too, just as others have inspired me.

I’m curious: where is your inspiration? In what ways are you living your life that you hope will inspire people to live well?

Faery Book Update 1 – I am happily overwhelmed

17 Tuesday Aug 2010

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The last 24 hours have been amazing.

I thank every one of you that has commented, looked and asked me for a copy of my book.

Especially those of you who want to own a copy.

I am, as I say, overwhelmed.

I am overflowing with gratitude. Gratitude for my friends, for the people around me who have and continue to support me, for the people who give me funny looks when I talk about Faeries and love me anyway (or even because of it). Gratitude for the excitement other people are sharing with me over this.

It is a wonderful thing to build bridges of joy, and I can see them growing up with every digital connection we make.

The worlds we build online are as real as those that we walk in, sleep in, love in. The worlds we can touch and feel and hear and see and smell, extend through our bodies, through the wires of the interconnecting-web, through our hearts and our words.

We build worlds of love and joy, we weave the worlds of Fey closer with every choice made in love and in alignment with our hearts.

I have seven people who have ordered one of the 13.

6 remain to find homes.

Email me if you would like to be part of this adventure as it takes to the skies!

Haloquin at googlemail dot com

And thank you. Thank you all very very much.

Watch here for further posts keeping you updated and sharing the joy!

The FeyHearted Book

16 Monday Aug 2010

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With absolute pleasure I can now share that my book is completely and utterly finished!

I’ve spent most of the past year working on it and now that it is done it feels like I am full of the softest clouds, all gently and unstoppably rising. I have had a copy printed for myself, and I am incredibly excited to see how it looks when it arrives!

Here is the cover:

Faery Heart Book Cover Image

Finding the Fey within and without, the
heart of our hearts, and the Beginning
of the FeyHearted Path.

Here is the description I’ve inscribed on the dust jacket  inside the front cover:

Fey Ones!
You of the wildest
hearts!
You of the sacred
glades!
You dancers,
enchanters,
lovers!
Fey ones!
May we dance through
the world together!

Are you Enchanted?
Have you been touched by the heart of the wild
and wonderous world?
Those that are feykissed feel it in their
bones… tell me, is your heart Fey?

The Faery Heart outlines the beginnings
of the path to knowing, accepting and expressing your Fey
heart, for those who are enchanted by the heart
of nature, by The Fey themselves, those who
are both Enchanted and
Enchanting.

And now it is time to let my book fly into the world… to take on a life of its own in other’s hands, and minds, and hearts. A book is a living thing, and a book on something as untamed as the Fey and our own deep hearts is liable to take on a life of its own. With that in mind, and in honour of the Faery Queen, who has guided my hands as I crafted this small fey creature, containing hopes and dreams, words from other worlds, the story of how the world became, glimpses of the Fey realms and the beginnings of a map to guide you into your own Fey-Heartedness, I will have printed 13 hardback copies which I will sign and number just for you.

13 special copies of this magical book… because I would like the people who give it a home to treasure it, and to treasure their own path.

13 special copies of this treasure trove.

If you would like a signed, numbered, very, very limited edition hardback copy of this Fey book, please contact me.

EDITED: Thank you for all your support. You can now buy paperback or PDF copies in my Etsy shop 🙂

 

The high cost of printing means that I will only have them printed once I have payment for all 13 copies, and I ask, please, for £25 per book, which includes shipping the book to you. £25 is close to cost price for these books, so if you would like to sponsor this project and you can afford to give more for your copy, then by all means, please do. Each person who buys one of these thirteen will get a special mention in any further editions (though there will be no more hardcovers) and every person that can offer a little more will have an extra gift with their book, as a thank you for your support.

If you would like to preorder a limited edition, signed and numbered hardback copy of The Faery Heart please email me at: Haloquin (at) googlemail (dot) com. Once I have payment for 13 copies I will contact all those who have preordered one and let you know how long your Fey-Book will take to find its way into your loving arms!

 

This is both the end of a long project, and the beginning of an adventure, thank you for being here with me!

FeyHearted Book Is Go!

14 Saturday Aug 2010

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Today I finally put the finishing touches to the book inspired by the work done on this blog.

I realised as I was writing it that I haven’t seen anything quite like this anywhere before, so I feel rather proud of myself.

It is illustrated, and I have a beautiful cover painting currently waiting to caress the cover of my brain-child!

So now remains the final stages of working out how I am to set this free into the world. I would very much like to make a limited run of really nice books for people to buy that can, in themselves, be special. And then to branch out into paperbacks and ebooks for it to be available to a wider audience. I am always impatient with these things, so close to finishing it is tempting to simply stick it up and have it out there, but it is important to me for this to not just be lost amoung the many thousands of pages of information.

Part of the reason I’ve written this is to share with others the way I’ve walked along this FeyHearted path, and part of the reason is as a devotional act for the Fey, the Faery Queen, and Himself, and so it feels important to do this right, in a way that does them honour.

Besides, I’ve put a lot of time and energy into this, so I’d like a nice copy too!

It is interesting to think over our culture’s fascination with Fairies, especially the fascination of young girls! Historically, I’ve been reading, this has been true as well, Fey beings were important to the female members of humanity more than to the men… the stories do tell of faery women enchanting the menfolk though, so they weren’t entirely immune to their charms! Despite this, there is less written on finding the Fey parts of ourselves, and this is what my book speaks to. Weaving between an exploration of what being Fey means and suggestions for coming closer to knowing your own Fey Heartand the Fey themselves, I hope this book has something for everyone.

I suppose the identification of women with Fey beings, (and often gender-queer or magical individuals for that matter, think over the number of times queer and Sighted individuals are called Fey) is to do with the understanding of power. For those that have little power in the over-culture’s world, it makes sense to find power in another world. For those that risk their lives in the process of giving birth, or know that they will one day, those beings that are on the edges of life hold a great deal of power to help and to harm. And then again, the identification of themselves as Fey affords individuals with a measure of power in their own lives.

And then, of course, we come back to the fact that the Fey are, simply, enchanting.

I am excited to help bring a little more of that enchantment back into the world… and I will keep you all posted on how the book is coming along!

Getting things Done, or: A little at a Time

31 Saturday Jul 2010

Posted by in Creative Process

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I have a lot of projects, let’s face it. Many things I like to do, many things I’m working on at any given time.

People usually  look surprised when I tell them what I’m up to, and they often ask how I find time to do everything I’m doing.

A family member looked over my website recently and assumed I was working in collaboration with other people, how could one person do that much? That many different things?

My secret? I do everything a little at a time.

I have lots of projects because I’m in the mood to do different things at different times, and I have the capacity to do different things depending on the situation… like the lunchbreak at work is not conducive to painting with oils, but making an ATC in watercolours, writing a Haiku, scribbling in my journal or reading a philosophy article: each of these takes a short period of time and no more stuff than I can fit in my handbag.

I made a habit of always having a small journal, sketchbook, knitting project or philosophy book in my bag every time I leave the house. And often I carry two of these things so I’ve a choice. (This is why I carry almost as much with me for an evening out as for a weekend away!)

Over the course of the week I read a whole book, or draw several cards, or knit most of a top.

By the end of the month I’ve finished several projects… most of which I started months ago and have been working on for ages!

Each individual project takes a long time, but I always have something to do if I want to, and I feel very productive because I’m regularly finishing things.

I’ve often heard people say that you can find time for anything you want to do, and it’s true. That half hour at lunch, every day, has breathed life into many creations.

The other secret? If you have something you want to do, just do it.

The journey so far…

26 Monday Jul 2010

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I have been quiet in the world of pixels for a while now because I have been focussing on getting the manuscript and illustrations together for a FaeryHearted book, about finding your own Faery Heart, what it is, and why you might like to… the minimal response to the idea of a FeyHearted Zine at this point suggested that it would be best to focus on one FeyHearted project, rather than splitting between two! Perhaps a Zine is somewhere in the future…

I went on a retreat where I journeyed with others to the four celtic cities, in the four directions, and found myself subtly transformed.

I’ve also been reading The Tree of Enchantment by Orion Foxwood and Fairies and Fairy stories A History – by Dianne Purkiss, and I plan to write about what I’ve been learning about the realm of the Fey over the past few months. I’ve been thinking about the connections between the ancestors, the gods and the fey, and about where the Faery Path fits in on my personal journey.

I’ve a lot I’d like to share here, its just finding a place to start… how do you word something experienced wordlessly? How do you pull the thoughts milling around your mind from a period of time and lay them out for others to see? How do you organise a mixture of theoretical, practical and magical moments into somethign shareable?

We’ll see.  It’ll certainly be an adventure!

Knitting Socks

22 Thursday Jul 2010

Posted by in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process, Following Delight

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and lacey things…

I decided to teach myself to knit. I had somewhat of a headstart because relatives had shown me the basics when I was small, but having forgotten most of the details (apart from that it involved looping string through other loops until the long, thin, twisted fibres magically transformed themselves into something wide and flat and warm) I figured that it counted as teaching myself.

The basics were easy, though I was grateful for the fluffiness of the wool which hid some of the early inconsistencies (i.e.: holes and unintended increasing and decreasing).

I knitted bags full of squares using one stitch; knit. Knit knit knit. Turn. Knit knit knit.

I chose the most beautiful balls of colourful wool and knitted each whole ball into a colourful patch, though I had little clue what I would do with them. It was still fun. (These are now half a blanket, it needs resewing properly, but is really funky.)

I knitted scarves, similar principle, knit knit knit, turn, knit knit knit… until you have something long enough to wrap around you and fluffy enough to look pretty. (And done when you’ve made something longer than it is wide, an easily finished project is always a good place to start for me!)

And then I began to wonder what else I could do.

I bought a book. Stitch and Bitch.

Really rather useful. This taught me how to pearl! A new stitch! And it had instructions for picking up dropped stitches, and shared details on how this alchemical process of knitting works. I chose two patterns, bought some wool and spent 18 months knitting a rucksack and a hoody (without a hood, so I guess its just a jumper.)

And then…

I saw a friend knitting socks. I’d heard that they were difficult, she made them look easy. I imagined wearing warm, colourful creations on my feet… and I asked her how she made the heel work.

And then I forgot everything she’d told me. Darn.

Still determined, I found a heelless sock pattern, some chunky red wool, and I made my very own pair of socks!!!

My first Sock! Heelless!

They are too big, and the pattern makes them uncomfortable to wear in shoes… but they’re mine, and they make wonderful slippers! And, to top it off, they remind me of how inspiring my friends can be. Thanks WD!

I’ve learnt that the best way to learn something is just to do it, to pick a pattern and try it out. If it turns out wonky, then I’ve still learnt something!

What have you been putting off? What could you just have a go at?

Now, I’m learning how to make knitting lacey. I undid the first inch five times before it started to make sense (under the patient guidance of the same sock-knitting friend) There are less mistakes with every inch I do, and at the end I’ll have a pretty blue top… even if it is three sizes too small!!!

Lacey Top in Progress

Oh, and one last thing, every time I look over how far I’ve come with these things, I can see how much I’ve learnt, how much my skills have improved (before I started this pattern I’d never knitted holes on purpose before!) I am filled with pride. I know it won’t be perfect, and the mistakes and visible improvement and clear markers of what I am proud of: the fact that I’ve set out to learn something, and I have! Mixed with the pride is profound gratitude; gratitude that I have these opportunities, gratitude for friends that help, gratitude for time to learn, gratitude for everything that gives me the opportunity to learn almost any skill I choose to.

Pride and gratitude. A really good feeling.

What are you proud of? What do you wish you were proud of?

Life, love and bunnies

17 Saturday Jul 2010

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Life has been busy, as usual!

I moved a month ago, and both me and the rabbit have settled in fine, albeit only for a few months until we find a more long-term place than my mum’s house.

I had thought the rabbit would be easier than a cat, but it turns out that, although she is easier to contain (one cage rather than needing a decent sized territory), she requires more looking after and can’t be left alone for more than about 12 hours. So I’m a little stuck in that I can’t really go anywhere for any length of time even when I’ve a few days off. As a result: missing my sweetheart.

It’ll be alright though, we’re only apart for a few months and then we’ll be finding somewhere together, possibly sharing with friends. We’ll see.

I’ve been learning to knit lace, finishing my FeyHearted book, working in a Travel Agents, continuing my studies, learning the keyboard, doing pen-ink-watercolour paintings for the book and to sell, joining a local Artist’s collective… and missing my friends.

I always wish I had a community, a group of people who live locally, or even a group of friends who all get on. I had that in Wales, but not here. It’d be nice to build something here, but I’m struggling to work out how!!! Hopefully something will come of the artist’s collective.

Yeah, really, life is currently rather solitary and quite productive. It’ll be interesting to see where I end up!

Whats that word… for a journey without a map? An exploration? A stepping-out without a destination?

Oh yeah, ‘adventure’.

Thats what this is I guess… an adventure!

Art class drop out

14 Wednesday Jul 2010

Posted by in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process

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When people walk into my room, they often comment on all my art on the wall. They don’t know how I believed I’d never make art like this.

I wear my world on my sleeve, so to speak. I remember hiding in the library at school, half the time I’d be reading stories or books about psychology or religion, the other half of the time I’d be drawing.

I almost failed GCSE art. I dropped out of Art A-level after a month.

I knew I loved making art, and yet I could barely pass the class.

For years I doubted my ability, lacking formal training, how could I really make art? How could I be an artist?!

And still I kept at it. In fits and starts, not so much an undeniable impulse but more like a slowly building pressure, only relieved by the soothing sound of colours stroking the page.

There is, simply, nothing like it.

Once I start, I never want the process to end at the same time as impatiently longing to see the finished picture.

I couldn’t jump through the hoops of formal training because, frankly, I just wanted to make art.

I dropped out of art class after a month.

I wanted the skills, but the formality was destroying me.

When I went to university to study Philosophy I secretly thought I’d left art, sadly, irrevocably, behind me. I could still draw, doodle, play, but I could never really be an artist.

But then I found myself painting, drawing, more and more… I painted my thoughts out for an essay, then wrote the essay based on the painting. Friends loved the art I made, asked me to make piece for them, which sit proudly on their walls.

Somehow, I’d dropped out, and tuned in.

Somehow, as an art-class drop-out, I found I could still be an artist.

I am grateful that I only gave up on my dream for a moment, and, in returning to myself, I find myself here… making art.

It makes me wonder what dreams the people around me have given up on, even if they haven’t realised it. It reminds me why the old cliché exists: it is never too late to do what you love, to be who you are, regardless of what the world might think.

Herbology – Holly

09 Friday Jul 2010

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A flash of colour in the grey,

A splash of light to lead the way

Spines to hold the gash of light

Berries brighten up the night…

A Tree in Your Pocket* tells me that Holly was loved for its ability to bring cheer to winter nights, and that is why it decorates our homes at midwinter. That and it protects us, Human and Fey alike, raising spirits and soothing sadness with its cheerful optimism.

Holly-spines are sharp, a deterrent to any that try to steal its pure-white wood… a deterrent to those who would cross the boundaries holly watches over.

Approach Holly with respect, it stands as a guardian of joy, and as a joy-bringer itself.

Holly, the Holly King, the ruler-twin of the dark half of the year. As such, Holly holds the light in the dark, light to warm our hearts in the long nights.

It seems an odd time to draw this tree from my ogham sticks, when the sun is at its height, and yet it speaks clearly to me right now. Firstly, there is always hope. I have left my chosen home and found myself without a clear path ahead. The everlight of the holly will hold my heart safe as I am buffeted through this summer. Secondly, I’ve been worrying over my art, hoping it will give me a way to earn a living, make me less dependent (in some respects) on location for financial security. Holly suggests that perhaps I should focus on shining, and worry about what the world reflects back when it does…

*Jaqueline Memory Paterson, A Tree in Your Pocket (Thorsons, 1998)