I recently bought black candles. This is not unusual. What makes this time notable is the look a friend gave me. A raised eyebrow, a smile both excited at the possibility of something taboo afoot and nervous that I am perhaps more wicked than I appear.
A little later the in-laws came to visit. Afterwards I remembered that the black wax, half melted, stands clearly visible on my altar and may have elicited a feeling of worry in this instance too. (True to British form, nothing was said even if it did.)
We have a pattern, a story we’ve learned, one of duality. Of Good vs Evil, of Kind vs Wicked, of light vs dark. I am a witch. I am a healer, first and foremost, – though I heal through inspiring joy and creativity (I hope) more than fixing physical ailments – which labels me a lightworker. And I honour, every day, the fertile darkness of sleep and dreams and space, and of the earth which nourishes all that we are.
The black candle on my altar is not there for wickedness, it is there for the darkness that carries the promise of light.
I’d like to share something I’m very excited about right now and the story of how I’ve found myself shimmying round my day-job-shop when customers aren’t looking!
I’ve always known that I wanted to dance, but could never find the right style.
As a child I tried tap dancing, in my teens I attempted a contemporary dance class – which I mostly remember as running from wall to wall, over and over, never quite got where that was going – throughout my life I’ve read Gabrielle Roth’s books over and over. I tried salsa, which I couldn’t get my feet round… In fact, the only thing that worked for me was whilst at uni when I would go out, step onto the dance floor as soon as the doors opened and only leave to down a pint of water before returning to the dance for as long as the music played.
Until now. Last spring I had five weeks of tribal belly dance classes in the Black Sheep style. The teacher, Lyza, became a friend of mine through connecting afterwards to share dancing. At that point I suspected it would be another phase. A subject I would be excited about for a month or two and then would fade into the background. A few core things have stuck with me long-term but many many other passions come and go. I was secretly certain this might be one of those…
But that excitement didn’t go away. I researched the histories of belly dance. I practised what little I’d learnt under my own steam. I kept hoping to return…
And then Wendy launched an ATS(r) class in March and I couldn’t go! It clashed with the teaching course I was on and the seminars I ran. I looked at it every week, waiting for the course to finish so I could join in. In June, finally, I walked through that door and into a new tribe, Tribal Unity Wales.
I dash to class each Tuesday with joy in my heart. No other hobby has ever had me this excited. Just two months of dancing with Tribal Unity and I managed a fortnight camping and trekking round Amsterdam, bookended by two 16 hour coach journeys, without back pain. (It was our honeymoon, and yes, it was fab!)
And it has so many layers! There is crafting and aesthetics for costuming, researching history, learning new steps, the challenge of getting to grips with them, constant opportunities for improvement, performance, the endorphins of exercise, music, self-expression, the flow of energy, stories, community and friendship, shows to watch, events to explore, cultures to investigate… and there are many different styles to learn about (and perhaps learn one day).
With so much to play with it is no wonder I’ve found myself thinking about it almost constantly!
This Friday we performed at Lampeter’s World Dance festival. I made so many mistakes, almost fell over with soft shoes on a slippery floor, missed cues, got confused… and yet could not stop grinning. I loved it. Dancing with these lovely ladies, sharing something that has brought me so much delight and returned my strength, and challenging myself to improve all combined to fill me with delight. Tribal style belly dance has utterly enchanted me and I feel like I’ve come home.
Friday’s performance, my first time dancing in public:
The moral of this story? Keep looking, keep trying, keep putting that desire out there even when you don’t know exactly what it is you want. Eventually the Universe will bring you to precisely where you need to be. And even if you make mistakes and feel like it is all going wrong, it is still beautiful and the world doesn’t end! It is preparing you for what is to come next…
Since making my commitment I have lit a candle every day to honour the Queen of Faery and my chosen path. I have prayed for guidance on my path as an enchantress and made my first deliberate thought the intention to bring beauty, healing and delight to those around me.
Every time I do, I feel better. I feel the kiss of magic.
This is my second lesson;
Make space and time for enchantment.
After opening the day with a prayer to enchantment, over the following hours I find myself wondering what the most enchanting way of behaving in a situation is, how I can best embody ‘Enchantress’ in any given situation.
Often this happens after I’ve noticed myself being less than enchanting! Or when I’ve made an attempt but it was ignored, misunderstood or not noticed. When I berate myself for failure I feel worse, but when I recommit to my goals and make delight a priority I feel better in myself even when I don’t succeed in delighting anyone else.
My Third lesson, then;
Aim for enchantment, forgive yourself if you do not hit the moon!
An Enchantress is… One who enchants;
One who brings beauty, healing and delight to those around her.
One who works magic of the Fae.
One who brings beauty to the world.
One who causes change.
In recent posts I’ve discussed each of these aspects, how an enchantress uses Glamourie and Honesty, a hint of what it means to be Fae, what beauty is and how this relates to Healing. Each of these is an aspect of enchantment, the magic of the Fae. Each one can be used in negative ways too, illusion and glamourie can be used to mislead, transformation is not always healing and Faery runs by its own, untamed laws.
As human beings who live within the world, with other human beings and dependent upon the land and those around us – however self-sufficient we can manage to become we still have to depend on good relations to allow us to stay in a specific space! – it is sensible to use these skills in positive ways, to work to heal and help ourselves and others, whether human or Fay. The majority of magic-workers understand this and the fact that everything is interconnected. The double-edged nature of enchantment – and all magic – means that we can protect and defend ourselves where necessary and the interconnected nature of all means that we will think carefully about what course of action to take. As a result I will be posting almost exclusively about the positive side of enchantment and trusting my readers to follow their own ethical codes.
An Enchantress is one who enchants.
As one who focusses on beauty, healing and joy, I am also a Devotee of Delight.
I am Enchantress and Devotee of Delight. When I remember these two things together I follow a healing, beautiful path.
I was called to travel with my friends on a pilgrimage, in search of my direction, my crown?
On the South West coast of Wales stands a cathedral where a flame of peace was to be lit, at a shrine behind which stood the Mother of Saint David, St. Non.
The Mother blesses those who ask it…
The cathedral was filled with light and pretty things, but empty for us. No magic danced in the colours which streamed from the windows. No nourishment in the food that lunchtime. This was not a place for us, though others were clearly blessed.
From the hidden icon of the Mother, however, peace and love flowed.
We travelled further towards the sea, to St. Non’s Chapel, her Well, her Ruins, upon the windswept cliffs of Wales.
The sea rises into the air…
Processing down the slope, greeted by the Well and a choice. Do you choose the chapel, or the ruins? Civilisation or the wilds of the wind and waves?
We each presented ourselves to the well, blessed by her healing waters.
Here she lives…
We chose the sea path.
Passing through the stone circle of the ruins we separated, lead by the magic to where we belonged. I found myself above the waves, breathing the sea-mist, buffeted by winds.
I asked; what must I do to reach my dreams? How do I do what you have asked me to?
A seal appeared, carrying the song of the sea…
The Mother held me, rocked me, washed me clean until I walked, entranced, along the cliff to the chapel where I was crowned, unasked for, in buttercups.
A candle lit, a prayer spoken, respects paid. We explored the ruins. A place of power. And then, we returned, passing the Well with thanks. Washed clean and each transformed into more of who we are.
I wonder; what pilgrimage are you making, or would you choose to make, this year?
The thread of fate weaves through the tapestry of life… like Ariadne’s thread leading you to your centre, to the heart of your life.
Beltane. The turning of the year from darkness to light.
A time of transformation, of beginnings, of springing into the future.
A time where that which you have dreamt over the long winter nights can enter the world…
It has been a magical month, Beltane coincides with May Day and this year May itself became the day on which the year turned!
It began with the full moon’s growing before May itself. A birthday party. Divination by the river… a call to sovereignty. My question was; how can I make a living doing what I love?
The answer; first you must be Queen.
Well, what do you do with an answer like that?
I committed to finding Sovereignty in my life, trusting that it would become clear. And so began my Beltane quest.
I wonder; what is the quest you are on right now? What is the quest waiting for you?
(Watch this space for the unfolding of the story…)
Through the studio inspiration flows as a river from faery. Painting – my prayer, my ritual, my magic – brings me to the power in the land.
I’ve been painting more now, when I have to travel to my studio, than I ever expected. Having a dedicated space encourages me to set aside time for painting and encourages focus. I’ve got at least five paintings in progress now, including ones I’ve not worked on for almost a year which are suddenly talking to me again!
The more I paint the more truth I find in the thought that painting is prayer and prayer is conversation with the divine. I’m finding my magic leading me deeper into art and further into working with the magic of the land I live upon and the people I am descended from. The stories of Y Mabinogi resonate in this landscape and the Norse tales echo in my bones. I find myself painting Blodeuwedd and Freya side by side.
My own work with the Faeries is still central to all that I do and it is becoming clear that my path is taking me deeper into exploring the magic of this land. As I open to listening, the responses come back clearer and clearer…
I find myself stepping back magically from other traditions (though they still inform my practice) and deepening the connections within my heart, working directly with the spirits and gods who are walking with me. Its an exciting time and I do not know quite where this path is heading but I know it is enchanted!
It is wonderful, the magic that occurs when you make space for it.
How are you making space for the things you love? And what path opens up to you when you do so?
From now on, the days get longer, even while the world gets colder.
This has been a busy season, and yet… I have been saying ‘No’. I have been slowing down with the season. I have been seeking the stillness. Returning to roots; food and fire, hearth and home.
Turning inwards and outwards at the same time. Learning about the Runes, seeking my ancestors, discovering how I have grown.
I spent last weekend with some of my living family, last night with my friends. Between the two, however, it was time to Feast with the Dead.
Prompted by Ms. Dirty’s Midwinter Madness (Magic, I mean Magic!) challenge to feed your ancestors something that they’d actually recognise I finally did a bit more concrete digging around who my ancestors were… found out more about where they were from than what they were like: Poland, Normandy-via-Essex-via-Kansas/Mass., South Wales, London… a thread of Germany in there. Mostly Northern Europe really.
In looking for traditions, well, I didn’t find very much that I was certain of. I didn’t dig as deeply as I’d have liked to either mind. Many of them were Christian and, though I’m not quite sure which flavour, I figured a Nativity scene would probably be appreciated.
Candles and cooking seemed like the best way to go.
I acquired a piece of red cloth to use as a tablecloth and to, most likely, embroider as an ongoing ancestor-connection project later/over the years.
I found the recipe for rock-cakes my Great-Nana used to make.
I researched Polish foods and created a recipe for stew which fitted.
I bought milk to make mac’n’cheese.
I cleaned house and lit a fire in the hearth.
Lighting a candle for Hella who has been a long time presence in my life, and candles for the gods of my traditions and of my ancestors, I set out a cup and biscuits and invited those that wanted to join me in the kitchen to tea.
While cooking I felt them near; bustly, strong, female presences. Making food that nourishes is important work.
My partner and I sat down to eat with a place set for my ancestors, but, until I sat alone with a cuppa and a rock-cake and let my mind still I didn’t feel them clearly as I had in the kitchen. You have to listen to hear, of course.
An acknowledgement.
Recognition that they cannot do other than be part of my foundation, cannot do other than support me – though they could rock that foundation if I don’t act with honour.
A reminder to trust my instincts.
A sense of caring.
I left food out overnight for them to help themselves.
In the morning, I was surprised to see the teacup was still full of tea. Seemed to me that, really, it should have been empty…
Enchantment and empowerment work together to transform our lives into something extraordinary!
You may have noticed a sudden invasion of flying fish on this site…
They are, in fact, a Sign!
A little while ago I was rolling the sense of enchantment on my tongue, wondering what was missing. I am a devotee of delight, constantly seeking to re-enchant my life and the world around me (though I’ll be the first to admit that its an ongoing saga, a work in progress for certain!) and yet there was something missing in my writings, something with backbone, something to give the enchantment strength… and so it came together in my mind!
The missing link was power; the power that rises from within, the power of choice, the power to shape our lives in the ways we choose.
As soon as the word ’empowerment’ clicked in my mind I understood: we need power to make our dreams come true, and we need to tap into the wonder of enchantment to shape our dreams in enchanting ways that feed our heart and souls.
This is so huge a concept that I felt the need to start at the beginning, and a week-long outline expanded into 6 months! I began, then, with Compass Building. Starting with where we are, Here and Now, a return to centre. Month one stands alone as a foundation for enchanted empowerment, and it will be built on further… first spiralling outward to the points of the compass, and then in creating a map to our dreams!
I don’t know where the flying fish came from, but once they appeared they’ve followed me since.
And they really do make me smile…
For more information on the course, and to sign up check out the page for month one here.
And for a weekly email of musings and updates sign up here!
Recently I’ve been using the label enchantress/enchanter to refer to myself, and the Pixie Kiss project is all about enchantment, so perhaps it is time to elucidate what I mean by this!
What is an Enchanter?
An enchanter enchants; makes something enchanted; spreads enchantment.
Enchantment implies wonder, delight, beauty, joy and magic… and also: seeing what is not there. I grew up being accused of watching things that weren’t there, things which include faeries, magic, wonder and spirit, according to the greyer parts of our overculture. Anything beyond the material realm is not really there…
The glimpses I’ve had of that grey world, devoid of spirit, life, and wonder, are terrible things. Its no real wonder that depression and numbness are strong currencies in the world! The more I see of the world, the more I come to see how this greyness permeates so many lives, and how much this harms people. Disconnection,* that which prevents a life lived fully, comes from disillusionment, disenchantment, distrust and disinterest in the world around us, so let us reconnect, re-enchant and re-invigorate our lives!
If being enchanted allows us to see past the cold hard facts of a world disconnected from its heart, then perhaps seeing what is normally unseen is the key to feeling the warm feelings of love and joy and delight, and being enchanted will fill us with wonder which we can then share!
For me, to be enchanted is to walk in a state of delighted wonder at the magic in the world. Not ignoring the problems, but choosing how we engage with the world and our lives. To be enchanted is to see the beauty of life, and to enchant others is to encourage beauty and delight in the world. Facing the truth is important, and I certainly don’t advocate ignoring pain and betrayal, in the world at large or our personal lives. However, acknowledging the hurt and harm happening and done, doing what you can to help, and not wallowing in the pain but choosing to heal and move on is more helpful than falling into misery.** Recognising that there is wonder in the world even when everything hurts can help us to get through the pain and keep motivated to help to heal the parts of the world we can.
Enchantment does not blind us to the bad, but it does help us see the good. It does not numb us, but it does open us to living more fully. Enchantment is not a way of hiding, it is a way of seeing and choosing where our focus, and therefore our energies, go.
This is what it means to be an Enchanter; to be enchanted by life, and to help others, wherever possible, to be enchanted too.
*Pace and Kyeli have written a marvelous document on why disconnection is the root of all the ills in the world, you can check it out here: The Connection Manifesto.
** Easier said than done sometimes, so there is help out there if you are sinking rather than swimming. For those times, ask for help. Acknowledging the beauty in the world includes acknowledging that there are many people out there who can and will help you… and remembering that we can ask for help.
