Tag Archives: Imperfection

Writing and whirlwinds

20 Thursday May 2021

Posted by in Enchanted, Following Delight, Magic, Reflections, Witchcraft 101

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Spring arrived, and with it went my focus. It’s always an inspirational time of year for me, the rush of energy bringing so many new ideas, so much potential, that I find myself led astray by beautiful new possibilities… And some things get dropped in the whirlwind romance of life. Like consistency.

Once upon a time I’d have felt guilty for that.

Coming to honour my cycles is a really important step in not beating myself up, and I don’t think I’m alone there. Each of us has cycles and seasons, and for some of us the effects are more pronounced than for others… Have you noticed that? Have you noticed your energy and attention fluctuating with the moon, or the sun?

Even e when it gets dark there’s light. Like here; there’s a boat on the horizon, dramatically lighting its own way in the dusk.

I definitely go with the seasons, the kiss of the sun on the land… Each season feeding into the other, a circle that repeats every year.

And each year I know a little more, recognise it a little sooner, so the circles become spirals, the same shape but a little further ahead, building a little higher than last time.

At least, that’s my goal.

And so far it seems to be working. I’ve noticed myself wanting to chase all the gorgeous idea-bunnies and remembered to pull myself back to centre. Those inspirations are wonderful, and if I follow them all I’ll forget the garden one been tending.

Do you find this? Do you find you cycle through patterns each day, month, year? Do you tend to overdo it in the summer, like me? Or do you let it go and take a holiday when the sun shines?

This Spring I’ve been nurturing a few writing seedlings which are strengthening day by day. The Enchanted Academy (TEA) with my courses on magic is one, the Crimson Coven is another, and if you follow me on Instagram you’ll have seen today that I’ve just signed contracts for two new books!

I decided years ago that I wanted to write books and teach, and that’s the spiral staircase I’m climbing each year… Each revolution, a little further along the path of doing what I love, even when my energy waxes and wanes with the seasons.

Whatever the sun is doing, I keep my dream in mind. If you hold true to who you choose to be then, every season, every revolution, you’ll have spent a little longer doing what feeds your heart’s garden. Don’t let the down times make you forget that.

Oh and learning your cycles and patterns, recognising the flow of the world around you, and learning to work in tune with both, is part of the craft of the witch, too.

I have, however, accidentally let the purple sprouting broccoli in my actual garden blossom and go to seed (I think?) because I was writing. Oops. It’s still pretty though!

In an attempt to get better at this while “making a living writing” thing, may I just remind you that I have books for sale! You can find them in my new online bookshop, Quin’s Books, or at your local bookshop. Or, if you’d like, you can support me on Patreon and unlock bonus audio content and early access to magical writings…

After the Tower, The Star Rises

13 Wednesday Dec 2017

Posted by in Enchanted, Magic, Poetry, Reflections

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Two violet booklets with a butterfly emerging from a crysalis depicted on the cover, on a wooden surface. Title: "Showing My Hand: a Poet's Tarot, by Halo Quin".

XVII: Star

Tell me,
my dreams,
which of you are true?
Which celestial spark points North
and leads me to my cave,
my court,
my stage?
And which is the lighthouse,
warning of the shallows
where sirens live?
Where do the rivers
of sleep lead?

 

 

In the spring of this year, I fell apart.

Some wonderful things happened. Some hard. I railed against the limitations I felt caged by. I explored ways of finding and making space.

The wheel turned, and everything changed. And nothing changed.

A birds-eye view of a lit, large cream candle, lighting a stainless steel pen and a journal page with a quote "the best way to predict the future is to create it." and a purple ribbon bookmark.The trick to magical manifestation, I have always found, is to be clear on what you truly desire. When everything you’re holding together begins to fall apart, struck by lightning perhaps, you can no longer ignore the cracks. When beautiful things appear in your life they highlight the parts you’ve allowed to become stagnant.

 

Under the light of the stars, I find my clarity. I have stories to share, of how I became an accidental published poet, and discovered I’ve always been a Bard. I joined an Order, which makes me chuckle, and I’ve learned that I really am wired differently to the majority of people. And finally, finally, I can see a path ahead for my studies. I’ve wandered for several years without direction, buried under the weight of my thesis despite my gratitude for the opportunity. And now, perhaps, I’ve chosen a destination…

 

An altar lit by a bright lantern-candle in the dark, outside, with apples and drinking cup barely visible.And I’ve found a way to dance again! I can no longer dance for hours every week in ATS Belly Dance, but I can strap my knees and back up (corsetry is surprisingly useful for this!), indulge in some spirits, and relax into freeform dancing as long as I listen to my body.

There is light in the darkness, always, and always more tales to tell.

 

 

Limitations of Flesh

27 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by in Dancing, Magic

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My knees are burning. My back is cramping. Tears stream down my cheeks in frustration. All I want to do is dance again. To move. To feel alive.

Wall of blank.

Exhaustion rises up, fog descends.

My mantra: I am lucky. This is temporary. This too shall pass.

I don’t believe it.

My body tells me that all there is is Now. Now is all. It might be correct.

I curl up on the floor. Empty.

I catch my breath. Numb.

Noticing, with strange detachment, that the world has become distant. That I’ve been a quiet automaton for hours, days… perhaps longer.

I breathe myself back into my body. Back into my feet. Back into the burning, aching flesh.

At least I feel alive.

I notice. Even restrained, even with the limits of movement, even with the fog and frustration, Here and Now, if I can keep my self in my belly, in my feet, in my hands, in my flesh… I can breathe and expand. The deeper into the flesh I go, the deeper into the magic. The deeper into the world I sink, the more I can expand, the more I am aware of. Oh it hurts, yes, but with each breath is life. With each prickly of goosebumps the wild spirits brush my skin with fingertips, tentacles, lips dripping in nectar.

The more present I am, the more present I am with Them. The gods stand behind me, the ancestors whisper in my ear, the spirits draw near. I can feel my edges, raise my shields, let down my hair, call out the cry of a Witch in the night.

The deeper into my body I can stay, when all my instincts are to flee, to float into painless disconnection, the closer the magic is.

Her and Now. Here and Now at the crossroads of every moment. Here and Now is where the web of Wyrd is woven, where the Power lies.

 

I am lucky, this too shall pass, this too shall return to the Fertile Darkness from whence it came, I am lucky, there are lessons here, if I can just stop running, just be Here and Now.

And in the stillness, I dance.

The Trouble with Druids

14 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Reflections

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I was thinking, at Druid Camp, that my initial impression of druids was not favourable.

I grew up a half hour bus journey from Avebury. When I was 18 I spent each of the 8 neo-pagan Festivals camping in Avebury. During the summer months I saw a particular group of Druids performing open, public rituals there. So far so good. Except that the leader would start with “Let’s do this quick so we can get to the pub!” and end it with “To the Pub!” with a fair amount of alcohol already having been imbibed.

I was not impressed that the ritual seemed to be done as an obligation, rather than as a devotional act, or an offering, or a joyful service, or a celebration, or whatever. It felt like a public show of “Look at us! Aren’t we great! Honouring the Old Ways ™!” getting in the way of drinking, rather than something that was important to the druids officiating.

It didn’t help that at this point I was teetotal.

Now, I’m certain it was important to them. I’m certain this was a bit of a joke, and I’m all for irreverent reverence. But when you are performing public ritual in a very public place then, surely, you have to expect that you are giving some people their first impression of pagans in general and druids in particular? Surely you need to take this into account?

For me, this was my first encounter with druids, and I was not impressed.

At one festival there was a second ritual, run by Bobcat and others (I only remembered Bobcat’s name because, well, bobcats!)  which I really loved, but it was too late. I actually thought it was part of the same group. I’d dutifully attended all the rituals I came across whilst there in order to learn as much as I could. And because I’d assumed these were the same kind of practitioners – i.e. they’re all druids, right? So they’re all part of the same thing, right? – I didn’t really want to be involved in a group that had the opening and closing of a ritual revolving around getting wasted.

This is not to say I didn’t have good experiences with druids there. I had some lovely conversations. I also had some amusing ones where very high (as in stoned) druids attempted to educate me (conflating youth with inexperience – by then I’d been practising (neo)Witchcraft and magic for 7 years!).

Their case was also not helped, in my eyes, by the fact that I only saw them doing their public rituals in the summer. Now I suspect they performed their winter rituals somewhere sensible, or on a different day so I can’t really hold that against them!

The other issue were the moots. I got so frustrated at the few I attended with the lack of discussion about the things we shared in common – i.e. an interest in magic/paganism/druidry/stories/etc – and, when I asked someone if we were going to talk about anything, well, magical, their response was “Why would we talk about that? This is a moot!” And off they went to get drunk.

Anyway. The point of all this reminiscing is this: when we are out and about in a visible role as pagan, druid, witch, magic-worked or whatever, we are representatives, rightly or wrongly, of the group we present ourselves as belonging to. I was desperate for local pagans to connect with at that point in my life and could only find people who either patronised me or put me off! 

For years I understood druids to be drunken show-offs who only paid lip-service to magic and the gods. Eventually I met some who clearly weren’t like that and slowly came to understand that that kind of group was a minority, though a VERY public minority.

This has me thinking about responsibility of visibility. 

So should we make ourselves visible if we believe we are able to counteract some of the negative stereotypes and representations of our groups? Do we have a responsibility to provide an alternative to those who we feel are being unethical in their presentation? How? And, really, to what end?

I haven’t got answers, just ponderings. And a growing desire to offer workshops in ritual skills and ritual etiquette! But that might just be showing my Reclaiming Witchcraft roots…

Anyway. It isn’t really a problem with druids at all. It can be found in any group. The racist Heathens of the AFA are likely to drive good people away from Heathenry as a whole. Bitchy Witches can put people right off attending a moot or a gathering a second time. And I know of plenty of people who won’t come to Pagan Soc meetings because the society is made up of newbie pagans who haven’t found their feet yet, and they find it tiring/etc. So the questions are the same; What can we do about it? What should we do about it? Or is it just one of those things? And who am I to judge them for how they want to present themselves and their path?

Thankfully my impression of druids as a whole has changed… and I still love Avebury!

Cult of Busy

24 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Creative Process, Dancing, Enchanted, Following Delight

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I’m a fully-paid-up, signed-in-blood member of the Cult of Busy and I love it! This time of year is wall-to-wall events, performances, classes and inspiration.

Dancing from one thing to another!

Dancing from one thing to another!

Let me show you what I mean… These are the events I’ve been at this summer:

  • Dancing at Ceithofest, Lampeter Food Fest, Cardigan Belly Dance Festival, Brynog Arms, A Hawai’ian birthday party and the Steampunk Extraordinarium
  • Herbal Foraging Day in Longwood
  • Crafty classes most Wednesdays in July/August
  • Goblin Circus at Ceithofest, the Steampunk Extraordinarium, a friend’s daughter’s birthday party, a Wellbeing Day in Porthcawl, & Wyrd and Wonderful Fest
  • Plus a trip to Druid camp, my 31st Birthday (and thus an Unbirthday party) and our second wedding anniversary, a visit from Mother, socialising, working the day job… and AT LEAST a day’s worth of preparation for each and EVERY event or class!!!

Shall we take a day off Maurice?

Shall we take a day off Maurice? Nah, I agree, rest is for the sleepy and I’m not tired at all… What do you mean I haven’t stopped yawning today?!

Busy summer, right? I’m flagging now though, and finally learning to make space

without resenting my limitations.

This week I’d booked off work to go adventuring. Whether touring living rooms with the Goblin Circus or visiting Edinburgh Festival or whatever, I knew I wanted to be out enjoying the last of the summer season. As August began and I looked at the weeks ahead however, I did something important. I checked in with myself.

Halo Quin, with pixie ears and knitted wings, signing a copy of her book by candlelight.

I love writing! I should do more of it.

And myself reminded me that I also needed to rest and wanted to write.

Writing, whether for the thesis or creatively always takes a chunk of time for me. All the excitement and inspiration from my travels needs a little space to catch up and brew.

I was then invited to another event for this period. I realised my other plans had fallen through or not materialised and I could finally get to this event I’d wanted to go to for ages, and be both useful and inspired… and I declined. For once, I’m not regretting it. I’m not feeling like I’m missing out, I feel, instead, like I have space to create.

And yes, I’m still a true believer in the Cult of Busy (“Better busy than bored!” is a favourite saying of mine!) I love the thrill, the excitement, the stimulation… but perhaps, just for a week, I’ll sit on my garden steps with my blossoming roses and be a heretic as well.

Now, who’s for a cuppa?

There are still THIS many things I want to do!!!

There are still THIS many things I want to do!!! But one step at a time.

Some Faery Philosophy

04 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by in Faery, Philosophy, Reflections

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Pandora's Box by JW Waterhouse

In my heart of hearts, I’m a philosopher, which means that I like to have thought through logically the reasons behind my beliefs. (This is sometimes like opening Pandora’s box… so here’s a disclaimer; these are my beliefs and thoughts, so I don’t expect everyone to agree with me by any means, I’m not out to convince anyone! I do find it interesting to hear why people think and say what they do though, so let’s have a discussion!)

In my last post I talk about pondering Faery Theology (there has to be a better word for this… any ideas?) so, by way of preliminary thoughts, here is an extract from chapter 3 of my book “Pagan Portals; Your Faery Magic” wherein I ponder the nature of faeries (as I see them) and the value of working with them.

 

If we look at the stories of Faeries, all the myths and legends, we see a common theme; they are all very strongly connected to, or embodying, nature. They are not, however, merely the plants or trees or forces they embody, they are beings that are inherently magical, beyond limits. Faeries are natural magic and, as part of nature ourselves, the magic within us is fey.

Humans are lured into Faeryland by beauty. Beautiful music, beautiful visions, beautiful food. And this beauty, once we return to earth, we pine for. So Faeryland is that place within the world, and ourselves as part of nature, in which the sense of magic, wonder and beauty lies, the natural core of our being. The heart of the world we reach through connecting to our Faery Heart.

If our hearts, at their untamed core, are places of beauty and magic, then following the call to Faeryland will open our hearts again to the beauty of the world. If we learn to touch the fey parts of ourselves then we can move through our lives open to the beauty that surrounds us and so we can reconnect to the natural world, with the other beings on the Earth as our brothers and sisters and kin.

…

And, of course, we recall the other parts of the stories of the fae…the wilder parts…the dangerous parts… They are untamed and not human and so their ethics are a little less strict than ours tend to be. In our heart we are natural beings, just like them; we have learnt really wonderful human skills, such as compassion and language, but in our search for order we have tried to tame our essential Selves and instead we have locked them away. These parts of ourselves hurt, so each day we die a little inside.

Here we choose to walk down a path that will lead us back to the parts within us that hold who we truly are. We seek all our parts, those that are good at communication, at compassion, and those that are good at standing up for us and being free. We do not have to give up the gifts of humanity in order to find our Faery Hearts and heal our lives, we can free ourselves of those things that do not serve us, release those things that hold us back and fly, carrying both gifts of humanity and gifts of Faery. We can choose to be both human and wild. That is what it means to be fey.

Fey means free. Free of the locks we’ve used to keep ourselves acceptable and free to choose to move in compassion and beauty. Fey means to be free to be our real Selves, to live our lives without unhealthy compromises, to dance to Faery music so we are filled with love and joy and deep feelings of connection even in a business meeting or on a busy, grimy underground train.

Fey means so full of shiny, happy, beauty, that you cannot help but share it.

Faeries are the conscious manifestation of the wild magic of the natural world. At our untamed core we are also part of the world, so part of our heart belongs to the realm of Faery… in which case, those of us that find our hearts singing with that wild magic? We are Fey. And when we allow ourselves to express that magic in ourselves we feel happy and we can share that happiness with the world.

It is always important in the stories to be respectful and to cultivate a good relationship with our “Good Neighbours” with whom we share a kinship, and the stories are where we first learn how to approach this people. In the same way we must learn to respect the wild world around us, to take only what we need and not deplete the land and her resources.

Growing up I was taught that the trees are conscious and aware. I was taught that the plants have feelings which deserve to be respected. I was taught that non-human animals are people just as we are. I learnt that the world around me was alive and the spirits dwell within everything. I have to eat to survive, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need to say thank you.

We are given masks to wear in our lives, but I have seen that we are much happier when we learn who we are under the masks and choose which masks to use and which to discard… and when to cast them off entirely and dance under the starlight with our friendly cousins.*

Book Cover YFM

 

*And it’s good to know which cousins bite, or don’t want to dance with you! You might swim in a river you know well, or cuddle your childhood canine-friend but you wouldn’t swim in a storm-tossed sea, or pick up a wild-wolf-cub with mamma wolf about to pounce, now would you? The Fae are the spirits of the wild, with all that entails.

 

Brewing Magic

31 Sunday Jan 2016

Posted by in Enchanted, Faery, Philosophy, Reflections

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This last year I’ve been dancing and storytelling and studying more than I have been writing.

I’ve been brewing thoughts, and allowing them to percolate. There have been many challenges, and a whirlwind of changes: Two house moves, marriage, turning 30, publishing my book, learning to dance.

Pen and Ink - Dances with Trees

My love and I now live in our own caravan! It is a static caravan rather than a mobile home like I dreamed of, but I think it’s better for us. Wales is our home and it is good to have a foundation here. Roots. I’ve been putting down roots, I suppose, choosing where I stand. Reflecting on who I am and where I am.

In my book (Pagan Portals; Your Faery Magic) I talk about some of the thinking behind my beliefs, I philosophise on Faeries and the Feyhearted Path. This is only scratching the surface though! And for a while I’ve been pondering questions, like;

Who and what is The Faery Queen – how does She relate to deities, archetypes, spirits? How does she tie in with the many goddesses that hold the title Faery Queen? She isn’t an archetype, though “Faery Queen” is also an archetype… so what is She? How does she manifest throughout the year? Does she change or it is constant… and what does that mean for her nature?

Who and what is the Faery King? Am I just falling back on my early neo-Wiccan reading when I want to bring Him in too? (Most of the books I got hold of when young and just finding my way were neo-Wiccan, and many of the books I see now are heavily influenced by that, whilst it can be a very useful structure, I don’t want to force energies and beings into a pattern that doesn’t serve them, or me, so what patterns belong to them?) Or is there a good reason for bringing Him in explicitly? (Aside from the fact that he turns up! But just because they come, does that mean we should work together?)

How do these powers/beings/deities(?) relate to deities that share the titles which seems to be their names?

How does this Enchantressing path relate to the Craft? To Priestessing? What are the differences? How do they overlap? Are they all words for the same thing or distinct practices?

What is the purpose of what I do?

How does this honour the land? How does this help my community?

How does my work fit within historical practices and traditions? What is my “lineage”? I’m clearly deeply rooted in neo-pagan structures, practices and attitudes, but that isn’t the only influence. And what does it all mean?

Who and what are the Fae? How metaphorical are they? How metaphorical is our relationship to them? How do they relate to other spirits? Is Faery-work just a form of spirit-work?

And so on… Alongside continuing practice I’ve been mulling theory, and I’m feeling the urge to start sharing again. I make no promises on how much or how often I’ll post, but I hope that some of these questions are interesting to you, and perhaps you can take them and apply them to your own practices and beliefs for an interesting think! (If you enjoy that kind of thing… not everyone does!)

It being Imbolc over the next few days it feels good to be seeing the seedlings sprout and these questions begin to find the light of day. My Queen wears white now, as do many goddesses at this time of year, and she beckons for us to awaken to ourselves and dance among the snowdrops and hailstones as the light grows and the land begins to stir.

Back to working on my Thesis now…

 

Oracles and Completion

28 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by in Art Craft and Beauty, Enchanted, Faery, Reflections

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Not so long ago a parcel arrived in the post. It was addressed to A World Enchanted. I was so excited! I spent months putting together a deck of Oracle cards and for almost a year I’ve been using one I printed myself… now I have a professionally printed deck and three to sell!

My Oracle Deck!

The Completed Deck!

I’m really proud of my work and the printed cards are beautiful. It works perfectly for uncovering what is in your heart and the heart of the world and the simple readings I did for others were very well received.

And somehow I’ve completely avoided posting about them here. I haven’t put the 3 decks I have for sale in my shop, I haven’t told you about them properly, I haven’t done anything with them beyond using them for myself.

Why?

Despite how it may appear, I struggle with being visible. I struggle with putting my work out there and allowing it to be seen. I struggle with completing projects and releasing them into the world. Artworks contain such a part of the artist’s spirit that an entire deck of my art makes me very visible and so, sharing them, I feel very vulnerable.

This New Year I am considering ‘Wholeness’ as my word for 2013. A word that includes the concept of completion and of being whole in myself. A word that speaks of safety, strength and holiness. Sacred Completion. A guiding light to help me overcome this block and share more beauty with you.

And today I am posting my Oracle Decks in my shop. There is more to do to complete this project than put the information up, however. I need to spread the word. I need to share this beauty, be seen, be known. So here I write and contemplate where to share with others what I have done!

Oracle Deck Set for sale

The FeyHearted Oracle and Guidebook!

Here is the page on A World Enchanted for the FeyHearted Oracle Deck for your enjoyment. If you feel called I would love for you to share this page with your friends and anyone you think might enjoy the deck!

May you find it easy to complete the things you wish to do and share your gifts with the world!

Map Making Step 4 – An Enchantress… brings Beauty

05 Wednesday Dec 2012

Posted by in Art Craft and Beauty, Enchanted, Faery

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An Enchantress is… One who enchants;
One who brings beauty, healing and delight to those around her.

One who works magic of the Fae.
One who brings beauty to the world.
One who causes change.

Last post I considered what working the magic of the Fae might mean, here we look at beauty.

Beauty is generally considered to be subjective. It is an aesthetic principle of what is pleasing to the senses. As such, when this is the goal of the Enchantress, She will strive to make the world more sensually pleasant to exist within. This doesn’t mean avoiding the unpleasant however, it means engaging with what needs to be done to create beauty in the long term.

One implication of enchantment for beauty is the use of illusion, of Glamourie. If we make the world more beautiful we could use illusion to do so. Here, then, is a question of ethics to be addressed here; how ethical is it to use illusion and can this help heal others? Aside from this, a fundamental position to take when working with the Fae is utter honesty in order to foster trust within yourself and with the spirits. We could use Glamourie to create the illusion that something is worth more than it is, as in the fairy tales of leaves enchanted to look like gold, and thus trick others into getting the rough end of the deal. This doesn’t help in the long term however as one’s relationships are what helps one through life and if you screw over your neighbour today they won’t help you tomorrow!

So how can illusion and honesty go hand in hand?

A glamour can be used to present oneself in a positive light – just as when you wear a suit for a job interview which you could fulfil, this doesn’t show who you are but it does allow you to get the position from which you can do the job well.

Illusions can be used to guide folk to realisations, to illuminate the truth and reflect back their realities. Just as when a painting inspires it’s audience to re-evaluate their world, an illusion can help someone to rethink their perceptions. A good costume, for example, can act as an illusion and can, at the very least, make folk smile.

Ultimately, however, the Fae are considered to be illusions by many in our world. In dealing with them and their stories and imageries we are creating what would be considered to be an illusion in order to illuminate the greater truth; that all is connected, the world is alive and magic is real.

The Power of Story – WIP

03 Monday Sep 2012

Posted by in Faery, Stories

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This is a section of the first draft of something I’m working on currently…

***

Stories have power. We tell ourselves stories that allow us to do things and stories that hold us back. We listen to the stories of others and some part of the story influences us. A story of failure encourages us not to try. A story of success pushes us towards our dreams.

Let go of the stories that say you are not enough. Let go of the stories that hold you back from pursuing your dreams. Let go of the stories that you carry from childhood which make you feel small.

 

You are bigger than your stories, greater, more.

You are the storyteller of your life and you get to choose to be the hero at every moment.

 

As I sat crying under a tree one night a Jack-in-the-Green sat beside me, pointing to constellations of streetlights in the town stretched below us:

“Look how the humans have tried to copy the stars.” He smiled.

I think I argued, as though I didn’t find it strange to be greeted by a jack, that the lights were there to see by, not to copy the stars.

“What do you think stars are for?” He replied, leaving with the sound of church-bells.

 

The lights in our hearts are there to guide us, the stars of our soul show us the path to our dreams. Seek the stars in your soul. Seek the bigger story that carries you to the moon and leave behind the ones that weight you down.