Tag Archives: Creation

Exhibitionism

02 Saturday Oct 2010

Posted by in Art Craft and Beauty, Following Delight

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Hanging paintings on a public wall feels a little like exposing my heart to the world.

Knowing that, Monday lunchtime, office workers will file into the canteen past my pictures, lovingly crafted but still revealing the inadequacies of my skill, the limitations of time and materials and money and…

Today I hung 5 of my paintings in a corridor of the NPower HQ in Swindon, alongside other artworks, by other members of the Swindon Artists’ Forum.

I expected to feel shy and inadequate seeing my work alongside such glories as I know the other artists create, but it seems I’ve come a long way. I didn’t feel embarressed. I could see the differences in style, and still appreciate what I’d made.

I’m actually proud of my art! How awesome is that?

And still, theres a little knot of uncomfortable-ness at the thought that people will pass these pictures, will pass judgement on them, and therefore on me. Art comes from a very deep rooted place in my heart. Even when it looks like doodles to passers by…

I’m excited. Its wonderful to be able to share these, and I hope hope hope that my pictures will brighten someone’s day along the way. And, if someone buys one, then so much the better (that is the only way I’ll find out if anyone likes one, after all! Unless someone makes the effort to send me an email just to say I’ve made something beautiful, which is possible.)

And I’m scared.

And thats ok.

For those of you who don’t work in that particular building, here are the pictures I took to commemorate this momentous occasion with:

Paintings Ready To Go 02-10-10

Paintings Ready To Go 02-10-10

The Corridor at NPower 02-10-10

The Corridor at NPower 02-10-10

NPower Exhibition 2 02-10-10

2 Paintings at NPower 02-10-10

NPower Exhibition 3 02-10-10

3 Paintings at NPower 02-10-10

Feathered Wings of the Heart

20 Friday Aug 2010

Posted by in Following Delight, Magic

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A freind of mine has started a blog about following spirit, and he writes beautifully! I encourage you to go and have a read… Revolve Your Spirit

His post today has inspired me to respond… if you know me, or have been following the Fey Hearted blog, you probably have seen that my Book  about finding your Faery Heart has reached completion, and is currently in the process of being born into the world in a special edition of 13 hardback books, each individually embellished by myself (when they finally arrive!).

Gwydion has written eloquently about how our wings will carry us to Spirit,to Heaven, to God Herself, and today he described how these wings must be grounded in our hearts. Our wings must be our own, our own colours, grown from our own desires, our own path.

And this makes me wonder, how is it that people who don’t know their own hearts can grow their wings again?

We are angels on earth, fallen, I agree.

But how is it that we might come to remember this?

For myself, it helped that my mother always told me to be true to myself… but the recognition that we could be more than simply office or factory workers, buried under the weight of grey streets and regimented work came from seeing people who did not live like that. Artists, street performers, tarot readers… people who danced at work, rather than trudged.

These examples of colour opened my eyes.

And then there were books… people wrote about their beliefs, their experiences, their hopes and dreams and worlds beyond this one.

I started with fantasy and could not believe that 9 to 5 was the only way to live.

And then, I found The Craft. A path which did not involve subservience to what is meant to be, but delight in all that is.

I found a map, well, in truth, a collection of fragments of maps which I found links between… have you ever noticed how all the maps of the multiverse have the same landmarks? And every map has your self at the heart?

So that is where I started, spiralling into my heart.

My point? If you live from your heart, as best you can at this moment, others will see.

If others see, they will also see, they can choose to do this too.

Be your Self, and others will see that they, too, can be their Selves.

One reason for my Faery Hearted Book is so that others with a heart like mine might find inspiration from its pages to let their heart shine too, just as others have inspired me.

I’m curious: where is your inspiration? In what ways are you living your life that you hope will inspire people to live well?

Art class drop out

14 Wednesday Jul 2010

Posted by in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process

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When people walk into my room, they often comment on all my art on the wall. They don’t know how I believed I’d never make art like this.

I wear my world on my sleeve, so to speak. I remember hiding in the library at school, half the time I’d be reading stories or books about psychology or religion, the other half of the time I’d be drawing.

I almost failed GCSE art. I dropped out of Art A-level after a month.

I knew I loved making art, and yet I could barely pass the class.

For years I doubted my ability, lacking formal training, how could I really make art? How could I be an artist?!

And still I kept at it. In fits and starts, not so much an undeniable impulse but more like a slowly building pressure, only relieved by the soothing sound of colours stroking the page.

There is, simply, nothing like it.

Once I start, I never want the process to end at the same time as impatiently longing to see the finished picture.

I couldn’t jump through the hoops of formal training because, frankly, I just wanted to make art.

I dropped out of art class after a month.

I wanted the skills, but the formality was destroying me.

When I went to university to study Philosophy I secretly thought I’d left art, sadly, irrevocably, behind me. I could still draw, doodle, play, but I could never really be an artist.

But then I found myself painting, drawing, more and more… I painted my thoughts out for an essay, then wrote the essay based on the painting. Friends loved the art I made, asked me to make piece for them, which sit proudly on their walls.

Somehow, I’d dropped out, and tuned in.

Somehow, as an art-class drop-out, I found I could still be an artist.

I am grateful that I only gave up on my dream for a moment, and, in returning to myself, I find myself here… making art.

It makes me wonder what dreams the people around me have given up on, even if they haven’t realised it. It reminds me why the old cliché exists: it is never too late to do what you love, to be who you are, regardless of what the world might think.

Moment to Moment, My Dear…

15 Saturday May 2010

Posted by in Art Craft and Beauty, Magic

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Painting

That knot in my chest just gets tighter every moment...

Its hard to breathe past the dawning feeling that things just aren’t right…

I let it fill me and reach inside for a sense of direction…

Strokes of colour, like feathers, reach into the sky.

A sense of flight rises up from within...

I see I fear confinement, being tied down to one place…

I see I fear losing, losing you my dear, and losing me.

My longing for adventure,

outpouring of colour in space…

Patterns form, shift, swirl.

In the flow I move...

Heart-to-hand-to-joyful-line, forming patterns, shifting, swirling outwards and outwards…

The freedom of a snow-white page…

Kissed by colours, the emerging-moment fills me…

A powerful hand glows.

I am full of power...

I glow. I know. To paint is to be free.

I know. To trust is to be free.

I know, to spread my wings and leave to faith what happens afterwards…

I know, to live, moment to moment, in each moment, is to be free.

I Wish not to lose you, my dear, but I Will keep me.

Moment to moment, my wings spread wide.

My dear-one, sweet-one…

Will you fly by my side?

Trust me to Live.

Trust me to Fly.

And its your choice, my dear, your choice.

Moment to moment.

Your choice to Live too.

Your choice to Fly.

In Love, I hold out my hand.

In Love, I must do what I must.

In Love, moment to moment, in Trust.

Creation is like a sun shining from the heart…

17 Saturday Apr 2010

Posted by in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process, Following Delight

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Creation is a Sun

The sunlight soothes my skin, scent of a green, green land playing in the air.

A bee bumbles past as I lay lazily, brush in hand, stroking the paper into colours.

Words come, unbidden, as the image emerges and my pen pours ink onto the page, spelling out the words, the spell, to capture the feeling.

How words and images reflect each other, like twins, Dionysian movement, Apolline images, dancing together.

I am reminded of Blake, who I have often strived to follow, inspired by the seamless blend of pigment and print.

Walkers wander past, voices loud against the hush of the slow summer which sneaks into my valley. Traffic in the distance, not so far from here, but still worlds away, does not burst the bubble of my beauty-brushed-blessed-being-of-the-moment.

I am here, bathed in light, warming in the sun, warmed from the sun within which feeds on the fuel that is joy. Joy, like a sun in my heart, shining in the light of the sun in the sky, overflowing through my hands and onto the page.

How can I share this moment with you?

I breathe up, a prayer of delight, of gratitude, of beauty.

I talk of sun and warm and light, of joy overflowing and green green grass… and still I wonder, can you feel it?

Can you feel the heat, the flames like liquid gold, pouring out from my heart into beauty, being fed by beauty, a circle of love for the world?

My heart opens and love pours out.

Originally posted on blogspot.

The Blank Page

19 Friday Feb 2010

Posted by in Creative Process

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Its the beginnings that are the hardest, at least to start with. I find myself staring at a blank sheet of paper and wonder where to make the first mark, what will be the first sentance? What will be the first line? Getting past this is often hard, this pure white sheet of paper, perfect, unblemished, beautiful in the way only an unmarked page can be…

And then we fill the page with colour and lines and words and it moves from pure emptiness to a place full of life.

Here, in the overcoming of the blank page, something is created. In that hesitation I feel fear, my fear is that I will waste a page, waste an opportunity, waste the moment and make nothing but a mistaken mess. What if it turns out bad? What if I’m not good enough? What if, what if, what if…

And I breathe in the empty page, sit with the space for a moment, and empty out those doubts.

Whatever happens, its never a waste, it is fun, illuminating, inspiring, it helps to flesh out an idea, it is the process of exploring and beginning and is, above all, a chance to play.

That blank page becomes a playground, and while I’m always nervous about what will be built there, even if it is ultimately to be shredded, the cliche about the importance of the journey holds true. Every act of play is important.

I, personally, have often been so wrapped up in having to produce something, that I forget that production is not the point. Every time I sit down to make art, to write, to explore delight, I remind myself that to create is to play on the border of materia and immateria, the point where the physical world and the imagination kiss. Yes, there will often be something that is born of this meeting, but it need not be the focus of creation, and it certainly need not be ‘perfect’.

Perfectionism is where we are scared to get it wrong.

I wonder why beauty need be ‘right’?

I wonder why playtime is seen as a waste?

I wonder if we can sit with the empty page, take a breath, and dive right in with a smile…