Tag Archives: Living Life

5 ways to do magic when you feel disconnected

18 Friday Jun 2021

Posted by in Magic, Witchcraft 101

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Last month I had one of my “I’m not quite feeling it” phases, where the sparkle just kinda gets ironed out of the world. I wasn’t unhappy, just not sparkly. It happens sometimes, and I often get to a point where I worry that it’ll last forever… it’s the “but what if I never get that magical, enchanted feeling again” or worse “what if the magic is gone?””. That’s normally the thought that kickstarts me into using my tools and finding the magic very quickly. It wasn’t gone, just out of sight for a little while. And these always help me, so I thought I’d share them because maybe they’ll help you too.

1. When I’m tired it’s really hard to *feel* the magic, but that doesn’t mean it is gone. It just means my senses are tired! Instead of trying to push myself and work harder at feeling it, I trust that it is there and look for ways the universe and my spirits are supporting me. What signs are they sending me that I am not alone? So look for those signs. The white feathers that appear when you think of your ancestors, perhaps, or the unexpected tip…

2. Rather than pushing my personal energy at these times, I lean into kitchen witchery. Add ginger to your meals for a bit of extra fire. Soothe your nerves (and your stomach) with peppermint tea. Let the plants support you.

3. A daily practice can help ground you and carry you through rough times. Even something as simple as a prayer at bedtime for restful sleep and sweet dreams can help nourish your spirit and strengthen the relationship between you and those you pray to.

4. Candles. Fire is magic. Light a candle (safely) and let the fire warm your spirit and light your way. Using the aesthetic aspects of magic engages our senses and gets more of us in alignment with magic again. If you’ve got the energy, make a ritual of your candle lighting and let it be an act of magic that brings the sense of magic back.

5. Go and sit with a tree, or a river, or the ocean. Spend some time outside with one of the bigger beings that hold a steady connection to spirit. Let the waters, or the woods, hold you for a little while and wash away the muck of daily living. It’s good for you on all levels.

And as a bonus:

6. Rest and refill your creative well. Read something that inspires you, doodle or play with something creative, or have a cuppa with a friend (in person or over a video call). Magic is hard when you’re depleted so refuel, sleep well, and trust that things will feel better soon.

How do you recover that spark of enchantment when life starts getting grey? What advice would you give to someone struggling to reconnect to their magic? Let’s support each other in the comments and remember our way home together.

In delight,

~ Halo x

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Writing and whirlwinds

20 Thursday May 2021

Posted by in Enchanted, Following Delight, Magic, Reflections, Witchcraft 101

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Spring arrived, and with it went my focus. It’s always an inspirational time of year for me, the rush of energy bringing so many new ideas, so much potential, that I find myself led astray by beautiful new possibilities… And some things get dropped in the whirlwind romance of life. Like consistency.

Once upon a time I’d have felt guilty for that.

Coming to honour my cycles is a really important step in not beating myself up, and I don’t think I’m alone there. Each of us has cycles and seasons, and for some of us the effects are more pronounced than for others… Have you noticed that? Have you noticed your energy and attention fluctuating with the moon, or the sun?

Even e when it gets dark there’s light. Like here; there’s a boat on the horizon, dramatically lighting its own way in the dusk.

I definitely go with the seasons, the kiss of the sun on the land… Each season feeding into the other, a circle that repeats every year.

And each year I know a little more, recognise it a little sooner, so the circles become spirals, the same shape but a little further ahead, building a little higher than last time.

At least, that’s my goal.

And so far it seems to be working. I’ve noticed myself wanting to chase all the gorgeous idea-bunnies and remembered to pull myself back to centre. Those inspirations are wonderful, and if I follow them all I’ll forget the garden one been tending.

Do you find this? Do you find you cycle through patterns each day, month, year? Do you tend to overdo it in the summer, like me? Or do you let it go and take a holiday when the sun shines?

This Spring I’ve been nurturing a few writing seedlings which are strengthening day by day. The Enchanted Academy (TEA) with my courses on magic is one, the Crimson Coven is another, and if you follow me on Instagram you’ll have seen today that I’ve just signed contracts for two new books!

I decided years ago that I wanted to write books and teach, and that’s the spiral staircase I’m climbing each year… Each revolution, a little further along the path of doing what I love, even when my energy waxes and wanes with the seasons.

Whatever the sun is doing, I keep my dream in mind. If you hold true to who you choose to be then, every season, every revolution, you’ll have spent a little longer doing what feeds your heart’s garden. Don’t let the down times make you forget that.

Oh and learning your cycles and patterns, recognising the flow of the world around you, and learning to work in tune with both, is part of the craft of the witch, too.

I have, however, accidentally let the purple sprouting broccoli in my actual garden blossom and go to seed (I think?) because I was writing. Oops. It’s still pretty though!

In an attempt to get better at this while “making a living writing” thing, may I just remind you that I have books for sale! You can find them in my new online bookshop, Quin’s Books, or at your local bookshop. Or, if you’d like, you can support me on Patreon and unlock bonus audio content and early access to magical writings…

Feeling Falsely Fraudulent

26 Friday Apr 2019

Posted by in Creative Process, Following Delight, Reflections

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Creative Writing Pic

Creative Writing Classes… because apparently I’m a teacher?

 

I know, I know, we all get it. But damn imposter syndrome is REAL and hard.

I’ve just (after several weeks of not because… resistant brain?) made event pages for two writing classes I’m starting next month. I’ve been running one in Carmarthen for the last six months and it’s been wonderful. The students came with such a wide range of experience and backgrounds – from the jewellery maker who hasn’t written since school, to the professional non-fiction writer who wanted to stretch his story-crafting muscles – and have each inspired me with what they’ve achieved. Their feedback has shown me I can teach these classes, and yet…

I hit post on the event pages and immediately began doubting myself. What if people turn up and I discover I can’t do it? What if I let them down? What if I’m kidding myself and this is not remotely viable for me as a possible career thread… What if these classes were just a fluke? What if they discover I really haven’t got a clue?!

My sensible brain knows that I am, actually, good at this. I have some major challenges around making the classes happen and promoting them (ADHD non-linear butterfly brain, anyone?) but when I’m there, in the space, it’s wonderful.

But oh gods, I really just want to hide now!

This is a good opportunity to practice self-acceptance, however. I am not just my limitations, and not just the easy parts of me. I’m also someone who loves to teach, and who can and does get up in front of a roomful of people and takes a risk on being seen for who and what I am. Hopefully, I’ll continue to prove myself worthy! Either way, I am apparently a brave person because it takes courage to do the scary thing.

So… to honour that…

Classes start…

…in Aberystwyth, Wednesday 8th May, 11am – 12:30pm at the Dragonfly Bistro, 7 St James’ Street. £6/£5 a session, £20 for first four in advance. (Facebook Event Page)

… in Lampeter, Tuesday 14th May, 3:30 – 5pm at the Mulberry Bush, 2 Bridge Street, £6/£5 a session, £20 for first four in advance. (Facebook Event Page) 

Any questions, or to book, email me: Haloquin@gmail.com

 

Happy Thoughts and Pixie Dust,

~Halo x

 

After the Tower, The Star Rises

13 Wednesday Dec 2017

Posted by in Enchanted, Magic, Poetry, Reflections

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Two violet booklets with a butterfly emerging from a crysalis depicted on the cover, on a wooden surface. Title: "Showing My Hand: a Poet's Tarot, by Halo Quin".

XVII: Star

Tell me,
my dreams,
which of you are true?
Which celestial spark points North
and leads me to my cave,
my court,
my stage?
And which is the lighthouse,
warning of the shallows
where sirens live?
Where do the rivers
of sleep lead?

 

 

In the spring of this year, I fell apart.

Some wonderful things happened. Some hard. I railed against the limitations I felt caged by. I explored ways of finding and making space.

The wheel turned, and everything changed. And nothing changed.

A birds-eye view of a lit, large cream candle, lighting a stainless steel pen and a journal page with a quote "the best way to predict the future is to create it." and a purple ribbon bookmark.The trick to magical manifestation, I have always found, is to be clear on what you truly desire. When everything you’re holding together begins to fall apart, struck by lightning perhaps, you can no longer ignore the cracks. When beautiful things appear in your life they highlight the parts you’ve allowed to become stagnant.

 

Under the light of the stars, I find my clarity. I have stories to share, of how I became an accidental published poet, and discovered I’ve always been a Bard. I joined an Order, which makes me chuckle, and I’ve learned that I really am wired differently to the majority of people. And finally, finally, I can see a path ahead for my studies. I’ve wandered for several years without direction, buried under the weight of my thesis despite my gratitude for the opportunity. And now, perhaps, I’ve chosen a destination…

 

An altar lit by a bright lantern-candle in the dark, outside, with apples and drinking cup barely visible.And I’ve found a way to dance again! I can no longer dance for hours every week in ATS Belly Dance, but I can strap my knees and back up (corsetry is surprisingly useful for this!), indulge in some spirits, and relax into freeform dancing as long as I listen to my body.

There is light in the darkness, always, and always more tales to tell.

 

 

Limitations of Flesh

27 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by in Dancing, Magic

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My knees are burning. My back is cramping. Tears stream down my cheeks in frustration. All I want to do is dance again. To move. To feel alive.

Wall of blank.

Exhaustion rises up, fog descends.

My mantra: I am lucky. This is temporary. This too shall pass.

I don’t believe it.

My body tells me that all there is is Now. Now is all. It might be correct.

I curl up on the floor. Empty.

I catch my breath. Numb.

Noticing, with strange detachment, that the world has become distant. That I’ve been a quiet automaton for hours, days… perhaps longer.

I breathe myself back into my body. Back into my feet. Back into the burning, aching flesh.

At least I feel alive.

I notice. Even restrained, even with the limits of movement, even with the fog and frustration, Here and Now, if I can keep my self in my belly, in my feet, in my hands, in my flesh… I can breathe and expand. The deeper into the flesh I go, the deeper into the magic. The deeper into the world I sink, the more I can expand, the more I am aware of. Oh it hurts, yes, but with each breath is life. With each prickly of goosebumps the wild spirits brush my skin with fingertips, tentacles, lips dripping in nectar.

The more present I am, the more present I am with Them. The gods stand behind me, the ancestors whisper in my ear, the spirits draw near. I can feel my edges, raise my shields, let down my hair, call out the cry of a Witch in the night.

The deeper into my body I can stay, when all my instincts are to flee, to float into painless disconnection, the closer the magic is.

Her and Now. Here and Now at the crossroads of every moment. Here and Now is where the web of Wyrd is woven, where the Power lies.

 

I am lucky, this too shall pass, this too shall return to the Fertile Darkness from whence it came, I am lucky, there are lessons here, if I can just stop running, just be Here and Now.

And in the stillness, I dance.

In the Footsteps of the Maiden

20 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by in Dancing, Enchanted, Faery, Following Delight, Magic

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Screenshot of a tweet by @Haloquin which reads; "Had a marvellous time at Occult Conference this weekend, today included how to make noises and how to walk. Also cake."

In my tradition (as with many) we have the goal of getting back to our true selves, and we consider this to be a state of being natural to children and animals (though please note that this includes connection, compassion, and the ability to use tools we’ve learnt whilst growing up, like kindness and empathy!). This weekend in Glastonbury, I went to the Occult Conference run by the Visible College, and its theme was practice, with an emphasis on embodiment. The workshop I attended, “Flesh of the World”* was run by Alkistis Dimech (of Scarlet Imprint) and focused on the feet; the feet as our contact with the world, our feet as focal points of our awareness, our feet as magical creatures in their own right (metaphorically), our feet as the foundation of our being in the world.

We learnt how to walk.

And I was struck by how often practical magical workshops are about learning to do things we thought we learned in childhood – walking, vocalising, breathing, standing. So much of our lives and culture encourages us to disconnect from our bodies, our selves, our natures, to live in ways which are destructive to our health, to cut ourselves off from the core of us which is embodied. As a result we need to undo harmful habits and relearn how to do even basic things, in order to fully embody and express our core-self.

This weekend I attended a workshop where we just walked, until walking became a dance and the dance became a magical act. And it was still “just” walking.

Thoughts fell away.

Awareness expanded.

I felt myself fill with song that longed to spill from my heart into the world.

By simply walking I was reminded that through following our feet, placed with deliberation upon the flesh of the world, we can return to the state of innocence, of pure, fey, self which the divine child embodies.

 

 

 

*And yes, this is a reference to phenomenological writings by Merleau-Ponty and others, which made me VERY gleeful!

Goblins on The Rock Show

01 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by in Enchanted, Faery, Following Delight, Magic

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As the finishing touch for this year’s Samhain-Halloween, after much ancestor work and feasting with friends, I found myself entering The Bunker, from which Big Jim broadcasts The Rock Show each Monday.

the-rock-show

Apparently it has been banned from Youtube, so this was either a genius plan or the worst idea I’d ever had. (Well, maybe not THE worst…)

My friend Eve had led the way from the Pagan Society Ritual to this strange corner of the town and I found myself stepping into another world. This was the second time that evening as the ritual had included an unexpected trip to the land of the dead. At least this meant I had my world-hopping boots on already.

Black and colourful candles lit the space showing band T-Shirts and Vinyl adorning the wooden walls. A clear desk with a microphone standing proud dominated one end, with laptops and hardware glowing like some kind of esoteric portals. I spared a moment for a prayer that the tech be treated kindly by the spirits and felt reassured by their response, Big Jim had that covered.

My Owl feathers still fluttered around my neck and I’d kept my torque and circlet but I’d swapped my purple robes for a white steampunk jacket. The robes keep me warm and show my role when I’m running ritual but the other items have protective functions. I’ve always drifted into the otherworld easily so I developed a habit of wearing talismans during ritual (and activities that might put me close to faeryland) just as back-up to keep me in my body and on the path.

Eve and I joked (kinda) about having just come from a ritual involving necromancy as Jim ushered me round to the mic. We had been contacting the dead so technically “necromancy” is accurate. “Bark at the Moon” (Ozzy!) echoed round the studio and I stood by the mic, ready to… well, I wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, it was going to be fun. The music ended and Jim began.

So, joining us fresh from ritual tonight is Halo! Halo is a White Witch and…”

“No. I’m not actually.

The slightly concerned twitch was amusing. Oh dear, I thought, I’m clearly feeling contrary tonight!

Jim changed the subject onto safer ground and we talked about the importance of the land and our relationship with it. Our position as part of nature. I eventually dropped in…

I said I’m not a white witch, I’m more of a green witch, a faery witch.

Jim laughed, the pieces making more sense. He was right, I take my responsibilities very seriously and have no intention of harming others, but while I don’t tend to curse and my goal is always to be kind, the labels black and white are problematic, oversimplified terms that lead to thinking that serves no-one. Even if they make things easier to understand! I knew full well that I was adding complications to the understanding of Jim’s listeners but it is important. Stories are important, labels are important. Truth is important.

Goblin Circus in the daylightAbout halfway through the interview the subject of Goblins and The Goblin Circus, my storytelling show, *just happened* to come up. From there it got really weird! I’ve no idea how well it translated through the airwaves but They turned up. That bunker is a magical space, and it is very welcoming of the mischievious, playful and darker energies of the Fae. It seemed that They liked it very much! It amused them to raise the temperature too…

Big Jim asked if we could “manifest” a Goblin, but given that they’ve deleted, destroyed or hidden most of the records of the Goblin Circus in action, I didn’t think it wise for Jim’s tech… and had the distinct impression that they didn’t want to be a parlour trick. Off-air Jim’s blue-haired apprentice A. asked if we could travel to the land of the dead. The dead were close enough to make the temperature drop and both Jim and A. shivered. Cue worried looks. I suggested that we stick with the goblins. And thus the experimental 3-minute trip to Faeryland and back occurred. I just described what the Goblins were showing me and we were off.

It was only when the show was over that Jim informed me of quite how many people there were listening in… well, yes. I’m glad that each person had their own goblin/spirit to guide them there and back again, I’m not sure I could have kept so many souls safe on such a trek alone!

Off-air I did hold up my “Philosopher Brain Here” card and remind them that I was well aware that it could all be suggestion, perhaps there is nothing objectively real about any of the energies or beings that joined us… but then, perhaps we’re not objectively real either. And, how does that saying go? “It’s all in our heads, but our heads are much bigger than we think they are.” I’m not stupid and I’m not crazy. But I am genuine. I do have experiences which indicate to me that it is real, and I’m happier and healthier when I let myself trust it… and I believe utterly in the reality of the spirit realm.

Besides, it is so much fun to introduce people to goblins when they were just expecting a harmless chat about Halloween…

Until Monday 7th November you can listen to the whole Halloween show here; http://www.therockshow.co.uk/

Steampunk Enchantment and Glamourie

22 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by in Enchanted, Faery, Following Delight, Magic

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Glamour is traditionally a faery magic. The ability to make something look like something else, to make something more beautiful, or ugly, is a handy skill for hiding something, or testing someone.

In many stories a magical being will appear as an ugly or low-status person, hiding their nature to test the human… asking for bread while wearing this glamour the faery asks; “Is this human worth helping? Are they honourable? Do they help others to be helpful or for their own gain? Do they respect the land and all who live here, or only wish for benefits for themselves?”

On the other hand, sometimes you’ll hear of gold that turns into dead leaves when the glamour wears off, leaving the faery laughing in the distance with the goods. Although one can’t help but wonder if perhaps the very earth from which we grow, which feeds us and houses us and receives us in the end, perhaps the earth is more valuable than gold?

On to steampunkerie! This year I’ve taken the Goblin Circus to quite a few steampunk events and I’ve been pondering glamourie again. When we dress up we’re casting a glamour on ourselves. We don’t have to use this to present an image though, instead we can use it to create a space of possibility. When we add an element of fun we open the doors of possibility further because we can relax into the magic! Steampunk is great for this! (If you like the aesthetic!) Fairy festivals can serve a similar function.

 

I wonder what kind of magic can flow when we use these glamours? Could we create “personas” that are simply the best version of ourselves? Our most fully realised Us? And then perform those in spaces full of fun and playfulness in such a way that they then make space for that version of ourselves to manifest in every day life? Or do we tend to relegate those playful parts of ourselves to the safe spaces of themed events? Of course, we can use it to explore our shadows, or personas completely different to our own too… in which case it probably is best to leave those glamours behind, and instead learn from them…

… and share our bread with them so they know they are honoured too.

 

The Trouble with Druids

14 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Reflections

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I was thinking, at Druid Camp, that my initial impression of druids was not favourable.

I grew up a half hour bus journey from Avebury. When I was 18 I spent each of the 8 neo-pagan Festivals camping in Avebury. During the summer months I saw a particular group of Druids performing open, public rituals there. So far so good. Except that the leader would start with “Let’s do this quick so we can get to the pub!” and end it with “To the Pub!” with a fair amount of alcohol already having been imbibed.

I was not impressed that the ritual seemed to be done as an obligation, rather than as a devotional act, or an offering, or a joyful service, or a celebration, or whatever. It felt like a public show of “Look at us! Aren’t we great! Honouring the Old Ways ™!” getting in the way of drinking, rather than something that was important to the druids officiating.

It didn’t help that at this point I was teetotal.

Now, I’m certain it was important to them. I’m certain this was a bit of a joke, and I’m all for irreverent reverence. But when you are performing public ritual in a very public place then, surely, you have to expect that you are giving some people their first impression of pagans in general and druids in particular? Surely you need to take this into account?

For me, this was my first encounter with druids, and I was not impressed.

At one festival there was a second ritual, run by Bobcat and others (I only remembered Bobcat’s name because, well, bobcats!)  which I really loved, but it was too late. I actually thought it was part of the same group. I’d dutifully attended all the rituals I came across whilst there in order to learn as much as I could. And because I’d assumed these were the same kind of practitioners – i.e. they’re all druids, right? So they’re all part of the same thing, right? – I didn’t really want to be involved in a group that had the opening and closing of a ritual revolving around getting wasted.

This is not to say I didn’t have good experiences with druids there. I had some lovely conversations. I also had some amusing ones where very high (as in stoned) druids attempted to educate me (conflating youth with inexperience – by then I’d been practising (neo)Witchcraft and magic for 7 years!).

Their case was also not helped, in my eyes, by the fact that I only saw them doing their public rituals in the summer. Now I suspect they performed their winter rituals somewhere sensible, or on a different day so I can’t really hold that against them!

The other issue were the moots. I got so frustrated at the few I attended with the lack of discussion about the things we shared in common – i.e. an interest in magic/paganism/druidry/stories/etc – and, when I asked someone if we were going to talk about anything, well, magical, their response was “Why would we talk about that? This is a moot!” And off they went to get drunk.

Anyway. The point of all this reminiscing is this: when we are out and about in a visible role as pagan, druid, witch, magic-worked or whatever, we are representatives, rightly or wrongly, of the group we present ourselves as belonging to. I was desperate for local pagans to connect with at that point in my life and could only find people who either patronised me or put me off! 

For years I understood druids to be drunken show-offs who only paid lip-service to magic and the gods. Eventually I met some who clearly weren’t like that and slowly came to understand that that kind of group was a minority, though a VERY public minority.

This has me thinking about responsibility of visibility. 

So should we make ourselves visible if we believe we are able to counteract some of the negative stereotypes and representations of our groups? Do we have a responsibility to provide an alternative to those who we feel are being unethical in their presentation? How? And, really, to what end?

I haven’t got answers, just ponderings. And a growing desire to offer workshops in ritual skills and ritual etiquette! But that might just be showing my Reclaiming Witchcraft roots…

Anyway. It isn’t really a problem with druids at all. It can be found in any group. The racist Heathens of the AFA are likely to drive good people away from Heathenry as a whole. Bitchy Witches can put people right off attending a moot or a gathering a second time. And I know of plenty of people who won’t come to Pagan Soc meetings because the society is made up of newbie pagans who haven’t found their feet yet, and they find it tiring/etc. So the questions are the same; What can we do about it? What should we do about it? Or is it just one of those things? And who am I to judge them for how they want to present themselves and their path?

Thankfully my impression of druids as a whole has changed… and I still love Avebury!

Black Candles and White Witches

31 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Enchanted, Magic, Reflections

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I recently bought black candles. This is not unusual. What makes this time notable is the look a friend gave me. A raised eyebrow, a smile both excited at the possibility of something taboo afoot and nervous that I am perhaps more wicked than I appear.

A little later the in-laws came to visit. Afterwards I remembered that the black wax, half melted, stands clearly visible on my altar and may have elicited a feeling of worry in this instance too. (True to British form, nothing was said even if it did.)

We have a pattern, a story we’ve learned, one of duality. Of Good vs Evil, of Kind vs Wicked, of light vs dark. I am a witch. I am a healer, first and foremost, – though I heal through inspiring joy and creativity (I hope) more than fixing physical ailments – which labels me a lightworker. And I honour, every day, the fertile darkness of sleep and dreams and space, and of the earth which nourishes all that we are.

The black candle on my altar is not there for wickedness, it is there for the darkness that carries the promise of light.

Incense

 

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