Category Archives: Creative Process

Feeling Falsely Fraudulent

26 Friday Apr 2019

Posted by in Creative Process, Following Delight, Reflections

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Creative Writing Pic

Creative Writing Classes… because apparently I’m a teacher?

 

I know, I know, we all get it. But damn imposter syndrome is REAL and hard.

I’ve just (after several weeks of not because… resistant brain?) made event pages for two writing classes I’m starting next month. I’ve been running one in Carmarthen for the last six months and it’s been wonderful. The students came with such a wide range of experience and backgrounds – from the jewellery maker who hasn’t written since school, to the professional non-fiction writer who wanted to stretch his story-crafting muscles – and have each inspired me with what they’ve achieved. Their feedback has shown me I can teach these classes, and yet…

I hit post on the event pages and immediately began doubting myself. What if people turn up and I discover I can’t do it? What if I let them down? What if I’m kidding myself and this is not remotely viable for me as a possible career thread… What if these classes were just a fluke? What if they discover I really haven’t got a clue?!

My sensible brain knows that I am, actually, good at this. I have some major challenges around making the classes happen and promoting them (ADHD non-linear butterfly brain, anyone?) but when I’m there, in the space, it’s wonderful.

But oh gods, I really just want to hide now!

This is a good opportunity to practice self-acceptance, however. I am not just my limitations, and not just the easy parts of me. I’m also someone who loves to teach, and who can and does get up in front of a roomful of people and takes a risk on being seen for who and what I am. Hopefully, I’ll continue to prove myself worthy! Either way, I am apparently a brave person because it takes courage to do the scary thing.

So… to honour that…

Classes start…

…in Aberystwyth, Wednesday 8th May, 11am – 12:30pm at the Dragonfly Bistro, 7 St James’ Street. £6/£5 a session, £20 for first four in advance. (Facebook Event Page)

… in Lampeter, Tuesday 14th May, 3:30 – 5pm at the Mulberry Bush, 2 Bridge Street, £6/£5 a session, £20 for first four in advance. (Facebook Event Page) 

Any questions, or to book, email me: Haloquin@gmail.com

 

Happy Thoughts and Pixie Dust,

~Halo x

 

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Cult of Busy

24 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Creative Process, Dancing, Enchanted, Following Delight

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I’m a fully-paid-up, signed-in-blood member of the Cult of Busy and I love it! This time of year is wall-to-wall events, performances, classes and inspiration.

Dancing from one thing to another!

Dancing from one thing to another!

Let me show you what I mean… These are the events I’ve been at this summer:

  • Dancing at Ceithofest, Lampeter Food Fest, Cardigan Belly Dance Festival, Brynog Arms, A Hawai’ian birthday party and the Steampunk Extraordinarium
  • Herbal Foraging Day in Longwood
  • Crafty classes most Wednesdays in July/August
  • Goblin Circus at Ceithofest, the Steampunk Extraordinarium, a friend’s daughter’s birthday party, a Wellbeing Day in Porthcawl, & Wyrd and Wonderful Fest
  • Plus a trip to Druid camp, my 31st Birthday (and thus an Unbirthday party) and our second wedding anniversary, a visit from Mother, socialising, working the day job… and AT LEAST a day’s worth of preparation for each and EVERY event or class!!!
Shall we take a day off Maurice?

Shall we take a day off Maurice? Nah, I agree, rest is for the sleepy and I’m not tired at all… What do you mean I haven’t stopped yawning today?!

Busy summer, right? I’m flagging now though, and finally learning to make space

without resenting my limitations.

This week I’d booked off work to go adventuring. Whether touring living rooms with the Goblin Circus or visiting Edinburgh Festival or whatever, I knew I wanted to be out enjoying the last of the summer season. As August began and I looked at the weeks ahead however, I did something important. I checked in with myself.

Halo Quin, with pixie ears and knitted wings, signing a copy of her book by candlelight.

I love writing! I should do more of it.

And myself reminded me that I also needed to rest and wanted to write.

Writing, whether for the thesis or creatively always takes a chunk of time for me. All the excitement and inspiration from my travels needs a little space to catch up and brew.

I was then invited to another event for this period. I realised my other plans had fallen through or not materialised and I could finally get to this event I’d wanted to go to for ages, and be both useful and inspired… and I declined. For once, I’m not regretting it. I’m not feeling like I’m missing out, I feel, instead, like I have space to create.

And yes, I’m still a true believer in the Cult of Busy (“Better busy than bored!” is a favourite saying of mine!) I love the thrill, the excitement, the stimulation… but perhaps, just for a week, I’ll sit on my garden steps with my blossoming roses and be a heretic as well.

Now, who’s for a cuppa?

There are still THIS many things I want to do!!!

There are still THIS many things I want to do!!! But one step at a time.

Dance and the cane…

20 Tuesday Oct 2015

Posted by in Creative Process, Dancing, Following Delight

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At the beginning of the summer I did a duet, using moves that are designed for 4/4 time to a waltz no less. It was wonderful. It felt amazing. It looked gorgeous. I’d been dancing ATS for only just over a year. (Just goes to show what a good teacher I have!)

I am, rightly so, proud.

The work I’ve put in shows. The dedication. The love. And it has given me as much back in return. A tribe. Health and strength and joy. An understanding that I can.

I’m a dancer.

That video was taken at the start of the summer. Two weeks ago I bought a walking stick. A wooden cane. For, you know, walking with. Because my ankle began to strain and my knees became stupid, inflamed, burny joints of ouch.

Not impressed.

And frustrated… why is it that I’ve finally begun to reach a level where I can be properly proud of dancing and suddenly I have mobility issues again? I spent years (literally years) working to heal a back that stopped me being able to function properly and the dance took the pain away.

Now? Dancing aggravates it. But while I dance I feel so much better. I can dance across the dance floor (for a while at least) more easily than I can walk. I almost cried in frustration today. And yet I know I’ll keep going, I know this will pass… I just have to lace up my boots and strap up my knees and keep dancing until I’m strong again. And be grateful that I can.

Dreaming Big before 30!

24 Sunday Aug 2014

Posted by in Creative Process, Following Delight

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This summer I moved house, got married and turned 29. Before this I presented my first aesthetics paper in a conference outside of my home-uni, in Hungary no less, had two philosophy pieces accepted for publication, three pieces of pagan related writing accepted for anthologies, and sold some art.

It’s been an exciting year. Re-enchantment really works!

Given that it’s my last year as a twenty-something I’ve decided to celebrate by setting myself some big challenges (because I enjoy making things happen) and attempting to match this year for excitement (which may be a tall order!) and I know they’re more likely to happen if I hold myself accountable, so…

Goals before I turn 30:

Publish 3 more pieces of philosophical writing

Finish the bulk of my PhD first draft (that’s about 50,000 words to write)

Visit 3 new places (preferably abroad)

Exhibit artworks twice (UPDATE: 1/2 done 27/09/14 – Art exhibition ‘A River of Animals‘ at the Confucius Institute in Lampeter’s 10th anniversary)

COMPLETED! Perform twice in public – storytelling, singing or something else! (UPDATE: 1/2 done 27/09/14 – Storytelling ‘A River of Animals’ at the Confucius Institute in Lampeter’s 10th anniversary UPDATE: 2/2 DONE! Dancing with Tribal Unity Wales at Lampeter World Dance Festival on Friday 17th October!)

Share my Fae work somehow – perhaps in a devotional book, a workshop or a talk?

Create a second Oracle Deck – Healing Hearts (which I’ve committed to anyway)

Learn to play 3 songs on the guitar that I can also sing to

They sound like a stretch, but an achievable one.

My plan to succeed? To combine projects. I’ve applied to perform animal stories at a local event where they would also exhibit some artworks. The Healing Hearts project will come with both stories to perform and art to exhibit, and writing my thesis leads to philosophical diversions which can be submitted for publication. And hopefully I can find places to perform, speak or present philosophy that I’ve never been to before. The guitar learning is just for fun 😉

So, who would like to exhibit some beautiful deity artworks? Who would like to host a storytelling evening? And who wants to hire me to talk to your group about faeries, enchantment and making life magic? Or do you know someone else who might want to host my work?

And who wants to share their goals? Who has a big dream (or three) for the next year and would like their declaration of intent witnessed? Comment below!

Healing Hearts Oracle!

19 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process, Following Delight, Magic

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I’ve just launched a fundraiser for my latest project! Please help if you can by contributing (and getting shinies!) and spreading the word! 

The short version:

Healing Hearts is a 50 card deck of deities including male, female and third/other gendered deities to heal the divine in all of us. (And to fundraise for kickstarting my Undercover Enchantress in Academia career!)

 

Click here for the campaign!

The longer story:

The Enchantress shares three moments:

Paint dripped down the page as I stepped back, to see a face of the divine peering back at me. It spoke.

Cards fell from fingers, faces of the feminine divine laid out before us as we heard their words spoken with reverence. I wondered where the masculine was.

The Green Goddess, the Horned God and the Sacred Earth spoke to us from their seats through our Priest and Priestesses. They called us to honour our hearts and the hearts of those around us.

Image and word in cards combine. The divine ones speak to us. In many forms they gift us with their guidance. Their stories light our way, bring healing to our hearts. Their many, many forms and faces reach out to us and stand before us as role models for our lives, as guides to the Sacred in our own Hearts, showing us where their powers reside in us and in the world.

And so a work of art in honour, in service to the gods and in service to the divine heart of each of us, is begun.

An Oracle deck – a work of art that is handled, spoken to, listened to – and a book of their stories and rituals together to bring the gods in their many forms, male, female, androgyne, into our lives. They come to show us that we too are sacred and that all the people of the world, regardless of sex or gender or race, are divine too.

Healing Hearts is an Oracle Deck which includes male, female and third-gendered deities from cultures all over the world, to allow us to meet the divine in its many faces and heal our relationship to the divine masculine, feminine and androgyne in our lives, within and without.

It is also a detailed book detailing the stories and history of each deity within the deck with rituals and devotionals to help you listen to their words directly, useful when paired with the deck but equally helpful on its own for those that prefer books to decks. In order to make this really awesome I’ve asked my friend Pawl to help with the research!

And finally it is part of A World Enchanted, the home of myself (Halo), and thus is supporting my pursuit of a PhD in philosophy of art and enchantment in order to bring the importance of magic into an academic, philosophical framework. Enchantment requires living as part of the natural world, not above it, and by welcoming the many forms of the divine into the world through art I am helping to open the possibility for more individuals to recognise their place within the circle.

Click here for the campaign!

A Song of Autumn

24 Tuesday Jul 2012

Posted by in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process, Following Delight

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The song begins, calling the sun to leave.

I begin with blobs of colour, a canvas and a sense for the atmosphere I am searching for. My brush spreads the paint, thick and textured, across the woven surface. A space emerges, like an ocean from the pearl-white ground.

Sun on the waves…

As the sun sets in the distance, mimicking the turn to the darkness we know will come again, a song hums through the waves and carries our thoughts into the depths.

A song from the depths, returning to the deep…

John Barleycorn

23 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process, Following Delight, Magic

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While painting this evening the piece I’m working on – four canvasses for the four festivals of Imbolc, Beltane, Lammas and Samhain – revealed their story to me.

Until now three images had begun to take shape. The story behind Robert Burn’s poem began to wind through my thoughts and the final piece of the puzzle became clear.

John Barleycorn

There was three kings into the east,
Three kings both great and high,
And they hae sworn a solemn oath
John Barleycorn should die.

They took a plough and plough’d him down,
Put clods upon his head,
And they hae sworn a solemn oath
John Barleycorn was dead.

But the cheerful Spring came kindly on,
And show’rs began to fall;
John Barleycorn got up again,
And sore surpris’d them all.

The sultry suns of Summer came,
And he grew thick and strong;
His head weel arm’d wi’ pointed spears,
That no one should him wrong.

The sober Autumn enter’d mild,
When he grew wan and pale;
His bending joints and drooping head
Show’d he began to fail.

His colour sicken’d more and more,
He faded into age;
And then his enemies began
To show their deadly rage.

They’ve taen a weapon, long and sharp,
And cut him by the knee;
Then tied him fast upon a cart,
Like a rogue for forgerie.

They laid him down upon his back,
And cudgell’d him full sore;
They hung him up before the storm,
And turn’d him o’er and o’er.

They laid him out upon the floor,
To work him further woe;
And still, as signs of life appear’d,
They toss’d him to and fro.

They wasted, o’er a scorching flame,
The marrow of his bones;
But a miller us’d him worst of all,
For he crush’d him between two stones.

And they hae taen his very heart’s blood,
And drank it round and round;
And still the more and more they drank,
Their joy did more abound.

John Barleycorn was a hero bold,
Of noble enterprise;
For if you do but taste his blood,
‘Twill make your courage rise.

‘Twill make a man forget his woe;
‘Twill heighten all his joy;
‘Twill make the widow’s heart to sing,
Tho’ the tear were in her eye.

Then let us toast John Barleycorn,
Each man a glass in hand;
And may his great posterity
Ne’er fail in old Scotland!

~ Robert Burns

The layers built up as the story unfolded…

A sliver of three paintings show a peek of what they might become.

A peek at what is to come…

Summer Solstice – WIP

20 Friday Jul 2012

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The Honeybee, lover of flora, giver of life. Will she return, as she must if we are to live under the summer’s sun once more?

My Office in the Sunshine

14 Saturday Jul 2012

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My Office in the Sun

Ah! Life is Sweet!

Its a strange thing to find myself actually working from home. Taking my materials outside I craft in the sunshine and it is work. I am the owner of a business, fledgling as it is, a ‘Business-Woman’. This title I once felt I couldn’t claim for myself, I thought I was uncomfortable with the concept but I’ve realised this past month that the concept did not scare me, rather I felt like I wasn’t doing enough to accept the label for my own. As a registered, self-employed artist now I find the label fits comfortably and I’m excited to play with this new hat on!

Especially when it means I can justify sitting in the sunshine listening to the bees love the flowers!

A bumblebee loving a flower - picture

Why yes Mr. Bee, we can have a meeting now!

Strange how much it takes for us to feel justified doing the things we love…

Beading for a workshop - picture

The Tempest has snuck into every corner of my life… even my beading reflects a sea-theme.

A Pilgrimage to The Well and Waves

15 Friday Jun 2012

Posted by in Creative Process, Following Delight, Magic

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I was called to travel with my friends on a pilgrimage, in search of my direction, my crown?

On the South West coast of Wales stands a cathedral where a flame of peace was to be lit, at a shrine behind which stood the Mother of Saint David, St. Non.

The Mother blesses those who ask it…

The cathedral was filled with light and pretty things, but empty for us. No magic danced in the colours which streamed from the windows. No nourishment in the food that lunchtime. This was not a place for us, though others were clearly blessed. 

From the hidden icon of the Mother, however, peace and love flowed.

We travelled further towards the sea, to St. Non’s Chapel, her Well, her Ruins, upon the windswept cliffs of Wales.

The sea rises into the air…

Processing down the slope, greeted by the Well and a choice. Do you choose the chapel, or the ruins? Civilisation or the wilds of the wind and waves?

We each presented ourselves to the well, blessed by her healing waters.

Here she lives…

We chose the sea path.

Passing through the stone circle of the ruins we separated, lead by the magic to where we belonged. I found myself above the waves, breathing the sea-mist, buffeted by winds.

I asked; what must I do to reach my dreams? How do I do what you have asked me to?

A seal appeared, carrying the song of the sea…

The Mother held me, rocked me, washed me clean until I walked, entranced, along the cliff to the chapel where I was crowned, unasked for, in buttercups.

A candle lit, a prayer spoken, respects paid. We explored the ruins. A place of power. And then, we returned, passing the Well with thanks. Washed clean and each transformed into more of who we are.

I wonder; what pilgrimage are you making, or would you choose to make, this year?