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Halo's Journal

~ Enchantment, Philosophy & Fairies – Magic and the mundane, kissing.

Halo's Journal

Tag Archives: Beginning

Exhibitionism

02 Saturday Oct 2010

Posted by Haloquin in Art Craft and Beauty, Following Delight

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Beginning, Creation, Exhibiting, Fears, hope, Imperfection, learning, Living Life

Hanging paintings on a public wall feels a little like exposing my heart to the world.

Knowing that, Monday lunchtime, office workers will file into the canteen past my pictures, lovingly crafted but still revealing the inadequacies of my skill, the limitations of time and materials and money and…

Today I hung 5 of my paintings in a corridor of the NPower HQ in Swindon, alongside other artworks, by other members of the Swindon Artists’ Forum.

I expected to feel shy and inadequate seeing my work alongside such glories as I know the other artists create, but it seems I’ve come a long way. I didn’t feel embarressed. I could see the differences in style, and still appreciate what I’d made.

I’m actually proud of my art! How awesome is that?

And still, theres a little knot of uncomfortable-ness at the thought that people will pass these pictures, will pass judgement on them, and therefore on me. Art comes from a very deep rooted place in my heart. Even when it looks like doodles to passers by…

I’m excited. Its wonderful to be able to share these, and I hope hope hope that my pictures will brighten someone’s day along the way. And, if someone buys one, then so much the better (that is the only way I’ll find out if anyone likes one, after all! Unless someone makes the effort to send me an email just to say I’ve made something beautiful, which is possible.)

And I’m scared.

And thats ok.

For those of you who don’t work in that particular building, here are the pictures I took to commemorate this momentous occasion with:

Paintings Ready To Go 02-10-10

Paintings Ready To Go 02-10-10

The Corridor at NPower 02-10-10

The Corridor at NPower 02-10-10

NPower Exhibition 2 02-10-10

2 Paintings at NPower 02-10-10

NPower Exhibition 3 02-10-10

3 Paintings at NPower 02-10-10

Herbology

17 Monday May 2010

Posted by Haloquin in Herbology

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Beginning, Determination, Devotion, Faery Queen, Garden, growing things, Healing, Idunna, learning, Plants, process, Roses

The image of the witch stirring her bubbling cauldron resonates through the ages.

When I first began on the pagan path I gathered bundles of herbs and hung them round my room to dry. I collected jars which filled with deliciously scented green leaves and brightly coloured petals. I occasionally took these jars out, inhaled the contents and then placed them back in their basket.

Once or twice I made up a flying incense, which, strangely, I never thought to burn but instead would breathe in the scent of woodland before meditative journeys. It worked. I wish I could remember the recipe, but I believe the main ingrediants were pine-needles and optimism.

I relocated to Wales, five years ago now, and last summer I threw out the jars of old, dusty herbs that had resided in my Mother’s attic for the time I had been away thus far.

And then, this spring, I began to feel the urge, again, to understand plants. Having passed the initiatory challenge of keeping a houseplant alive for a year this Imbolc, two miniature rose plants no less, I began to feel hopeful that perhaps my history of killing spider plants would no longer count against me. I bought live herbs from the supermarket, the basil thrived for a while, but eventually joined the other two in brown, shrivelled death.*

And still I have the nagging feeling that I really should be learning about plants, learning from plants, learning to use plants. And graduating from ready-mixed dried herbs and black pepper in the kitchen would not be unwelcome either!

Perhaps something to do with the Fey-Queen’s prescence in my life, or perhaps because Idunna finally revealed herself to be one member of my childhood ‘invented’ pantheon (You only had to ask, she reminds me gently, I’d have told you sooner if you’d asked.) Perhaps its the green of Wales finally sinking into my bones, or the garden planted in my heart by elemental guardians. Whichever perhaps, I’ve begun to explore.

The Herbology category will track my posts as I collect information, both book-based and experiential, slowly about the plants I encounter. As a devotional act I am exploring this world of green green things. In gratitude for the information I’ve found online – and to keep myself  both active and accountable – I intend to post my findings here.

Enjoy.

*I also have packets of seeds waiting for when I settle somewhere a little more permanent than 3 months… I will grow a garden one day soon.

What is your Delight?

03 Wednesday Mar 2010

Posted by Haloquin in Following Delight

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Beginning, choice, Determination, growing things, Imperfection, Journey, Living Life, Play, Priorities

I know you’ve got time,
But what are you waiting for?
~The Feeling

Every now and then it hits me: life is short. Life is wonderful and amazing and full of so many things to play with… and it is short.

I have so many projects on the go that its a rare day I find time for all of them, but they are all in pursuit of the same thing, the exploration of delight.

If I see something I want to do, I have started to just say yes. If I can find the time and the money to do something I’d love to (and if I really want to, I can) then I will. Which is why I have a billion projects or so! There is a pattern, as I said, all my projects are part of one project, one goal in life.

My game is Delight, what’s yours?

What would you do if you had the time and the money to pursue your game?

What makes your heart sing?

I write, study philosophy, make art, learn new crafts, travel, walk in the woods, play with my rabbit, grow roses, learn languages, play with poi, meet friends, perform amatuer dramatics, sing in the bath…

What makes you happy? What is it you wish you were doing? And how can you do it with the resources you have right now??? I’d love to have a garden and am in temporary rented accomodation, so I’m keeping roses in a fish-tank, and growing herbs in another. I’d love to travel more, so I put aside a little cash every paycheck and save up for interesting events. I carry a sketchbook and a journal with me everywhere. What little things can you do to follow your dreams? How do all these things fit together into a pattern?

What is your game, your delight?

Starting this site is a recognition for me of my over-arching game, my opening to delight.

What are you waiting for?

The Blank Page

19 Friday Feb 2010

Posted by Haloquin in Creative Process

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Beginning, Creation, Fears, Imperfection, Journey, Play, process, Production

Its the beginnings that are the hardest, at least to start with. I find myself staring at a blank sheet of paper and wonder where to make the first mark, what will be the first sentance? What will be the first line? Getting past this is often hard, this pure white sheet of paper, perfect, unblemished, beautiful in the way only an unmarked page can be…

And then we fill the page with colour and lines and words and it moves from pure emptiness to a place full of life.

Here, in the overcoming of the blank page, something is created. In that hesitation I feel fear, my fear is that I will waste a page, waste an opportunity, waste the moment and make nothing but a mistaken mess. What if it turns out bad? What if I’m not good enough? What if, what if, what if…

And I breathe in the empty page, sit with the space for a moment, and empty out those doubts.

Whatever happens, its never a waste, it is fun, illuminating, inspiring, it helps to flesh out an idea, it is the process of exploring and beginning and is, above all, a chance to play.

That blank page becomes a playground, and while I’m always nervous about what will be built there, even if it is ultimately to be shredded, the cliche about the importance of the journey holds true. Every act of play is important.

I, personally, have often been so wrapped up in having to produce something, that I forget that production is not the point. Every time I sit down to make art, to write, to explore delight, I remind myself that to create is to play on the border of materia and immateria, the point where the physical world and the imagination kiss. Yes, there will often be something that is born of this meeting, but it need not be the focus of creation, and it certainly need not be ‘perfect’.

Perfectionism is where we are scared to get it wrong.

I wonder why beauty need be ‘right’?

I wonder why playtime is seen as a waste?

I wonder if we can sit with the empty page, take a breath, and dive right in with a smile…

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