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Halo Quin

~ Author, storyteller, witch

Tag Archives: Imperfection

My Office in the Sunshine

14 Saturday Jul 2012

Posted by Haloquin in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process, Following Delight

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Art Craft and Beauty, Commitment, creativity, Determination, gratitude, Imperfection, Living Life, musings, Strangeness of Life

My Office in the Sun

Ah! Life is Sweet!

Its a strange thing to find myself actually working from home. Taking my materials outside I craft in the sunshine and it is work. I am the owner of a business, fledgling as it is, a ‘Business-Woman’. This title I once felt I couldn’t claim for myself, I thought I was uncomfortable with the concept but I’ve realised this past month that the concept did not scare me, rather I felt like I wasn’t doing enough to accept the label for my own. As a registered, self-employed artist now I find the label fits comfortably and I’m excited to play with this new hat on!

Especially when it means I can justify sitting in the sunshine listening to the bees love the flowers!

A bumblebee loving a flower - picture

Why yes Mr. Bee, we can have a meeting now!

Strange how much it takes for us to feel justified doing the things we love…

Beading for a workshop - picture

The Tempest has snuck into every corner of my life… even my beading reflects a sea-theme.

A Pilgrimage to The Well and Waves

15 Friday Jun 2012

Posted by Haloquin in Creative Process, Following Delight, Magic

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Commitment, Devotion, Faery Queen, Feyhearted path, Heart, Imperfection, inspirations, Intent, Journey, musings, Pilgrimage, process, Queenship, Strangeness of Life

I was called to travel with my friends on a pilgrimage, in search of my direction, my crown?

On the South West coast of Wales stands a cathedral where a flame of peace was to be lit, at a shrine behind which stood the Mother of Saint David, St. Non.

The Mother blesses those who ask it…

The cathedral was filled with light and pretty things, but empty for us. No magic danced in the colours which streamed from the windows. No nourishment in the food that lunchtime. This was not a place for us, though others were clearly blessed. 

From the hidden icon of the Mother, however, peace and love flowed.

We travelled further towards the sea, to St. Non’s Chapel, her Well, her Ruins, upon the windswept cliffs of Wales.

The sea rises into the air…

Processing down the slope, greeted by the Well and a choice. Do you choose the chapel, or the ruins? Civilisation or the wilds of the wind and waves?

We each presented ourselves to the well, blessed by her healing waters.

Here she lives…

We chose the sea path.

Passing through the stone circle of the ruins we separated, lead by the magic to where we belonged. I found myself above the waves, breathing the sea-mist, buffeted by winds.

I asked; what must I do to reach my dreams? How do I do what you have asked me to?

A seal appeared, carrying the song of the sea…

The Mother held me, rocked me, washed me clean until I walked, entranced, along the cliff to the chapel where I was crowned, unasked for, in buttercups.

A candle lit, a prayer spoken, respects paid. We explored the ruins. A place of power. And then, we returned, passing the Well with thanks. Washed clean and each transformed into more of who we are.

I wonder; what pilgrimage are you making, or would you choose to make, this year?

Longing for space…

02 Friday Mar 2012

Posted by Haloquin in Creative Process, Following Delight, Reflections

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Art Craft and Beauty, challenge, creativity, Determination, Feyhearted path, Imperfection, Living Life, Magic, musings, process, Strangeness of Life

Pink Winged being flying

Can I spread my wings and allow myself to be bigger than I am already? Can I keep growing and exploring and playing? Can I afford to keep playing small? Can you?

Something in this post by Pixie has cracked my heart.

I gazed at the images of her filling her new space, of her Pandora’s box and giant thirsty canvasses, and my breath caught in my throat.

I’ve long longed to spread colour on larger canvasses, to have a bright space full of sunshine and shelves and drawers and places to put my paints within easy reach… I’ve long kept my artworks small because my living space seemed to require it.

But what if that isn’t so?

What if that cannot be so?

What if I can spread out and create the space I need in this wonderful home of ours?

What if I only think I cannot spread my wings out as far as I wish to?

What if my thinking small, my playing small, is the only thing keeping me that way?

Maybe I’ll try a bigger canvas and decide it isn’t for me… but I have everything to lose by never trying… and much to gain if I do.

Time to stop waiting for the right time.

Open, Breathe, Remember.

The Forest, The Dark Mother and Elephant snot (part 3)

17 Saturday Dec 2011

Posted by Haloquin in Following Delight, Magic, Reflections

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Devotional, Faery, Goddess, Imperfection, Living Life, Magic, musings, Religion, Skande Vale, Strangeness of Life, Unexpected

Valli the Temple Elephant

An elephant's trunk is rough like stone... and its blessing is sticky!

A three-part story of a pilgrimage to The Community of the Many Names of God – Skanda Vale, part 3. Find part 1 here and part 2 here.

It was dark, night had fallen and I thought that Valli the elephant would be asleep for the night.

J, N, P and I walked past the door to Valli’s home, and P told us the story of how she gives blessings for treats as one of the Monks darted past us with a bag of carrots… and opened the door to her home.

“Would you like a Blessing?” He asked us.

I was in awe. She was huge and beautiful and had such presence. How could we say no?

She brushed my hair with her trunk and held it out for the carrot.

“Now that wasn’t a very good blessing Valli,” said the man, “try again”.

She placed the end of her trunk on my head… and SNORTED!

Ew! Covered in Elephant snot!

Queue peals of giggles and wiping with tissues. Valli got her carrot and I had a definite blessing! No-one else got snotted, so I feel honoured, if dubiously.

As we entered the forest to return downhill the sense of the land Spirit/s returned and, again, I was filled with Bliss. I wished the lights were off so we could walk through the forest in the darkness and feel Them more strongly. N turned to ask me how I was doing and, before I could tell them my wish, the lights blinked out leaving the path lit by the Full Moon’s light! Divine!

The curry, made from the food donated to the Temple and blessed in the Puja’s by the Gods, was heavenly too. Very, very spicy. As P says; ‘Religion is delicious.’

Its a fascinating place, Skanda Vale. Multifaith but primarily Hindu in form. Is it right to go and attend the Puja’s if the god-forms are not the ones you connect with most strongly? Is it cultural tourism to go to somewhere like this and participate when we don’t worship Kali at home? Is it ok that I see Her as a form of the Dark mother, who I do worship, and that I enter the Pujas with respect while seeing Kali as part of a larger form? I’m both a hard Polytheist and a believer that all is one. The faces of the Dark mother are an interface for her AND each Dark Mother Goddess is a being in her own right. She may not claim me, but I respect Kali and participating in her Puja’s move me, touch me, effect me in ways I appreciate.

As long as we enter into these relationships with respect and honour, following the rules of the Temple and the Gods and we hold a space in our hearts for these beings, then is it wrong?

Skanda Vale is a special place, deliberately open as a multi-faith space. Believing that all gods are, ultimately, the faces of The Divine. Protecting life where they can, offering connection to those that come with right-mind. In such a place as this to enter with respect and love – Perfect Love and Perfect Trust – is right, even when the Hindu Gods may not be your primary pantheon.

 

The Forest, The Dark Mother and Elephant snot (part 2)

14 Wednesday Dec 2011

Posted by Haloquin in Following Delight, Magic, Reflections

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Devotional, Goddess, Imperfection, Living Life, Magic, musings, process, Religion, Skande Vale, Unexpected

Mother Kali

The Dark Mother is present and adored.

A three-part story of a pilgrimage to The Community of the Many Names of God – Skanda Vale, part 2. Part 1 lives here.

We were refused entry. Two of us, J and N, had not observed the obligatory vegetarianism and so knew they’d be watching from the terrace of the temple. But P and I had. As a full moon Puja it was more full than usual and so, there was no room for us!

Things will be as they will be.

The terrace is seperated from the main Temple room only by double doors and a wall with windows. A screen shows Kali throughout the Puja. The doors are open and the terrace is still part of the Temple.

I got as far as the door, the last female at the gates, and was told no.

Interesting.

As we sat and sang and rocked and prayed I let my ego roll the wound around my mind – Rejection! Rejection! it shouted. I waited until it calmed down and breathed through the disappointment. So close…

And then we came to a place where we could share in the place we were, my Ego and I.

Things will be as they will be.

Perhaps it was just as well – I had space to breathe, to move and avoid the pain of siting still for nearly 3 hours. I had space to breathe, to take in what I was able to and not be overwhelmed by the echoes of the burn-out from the pilgrimage I’d made there last. I had space to breathe, and to remember the place I find myself in many rituals – always on the edge.

At the last of Her Pujas I sat in the doorway.

Many many rituals I have ended up on the edge of the circle, holding the space, walking the boundary.

In my chosen career I walk the edges of acceptability – Philosophy does not look kindly upon Faeries.

In my religious traditions I tend to have to find my own way – neither dark nor light but both and neither.

On the edge.

I laughed and cried and sang and rocked and prayed. I smiled at the children who ran round the terrace. I searched for the words in the prayer book to try to understand. I made an offering of my pain and my singing to Her and I asked for her to destroy those blocks that no longer serve me. Those blocks that hold me back. Gladly, like the whirling scythe at harvest time, I felt her dance through me. I gave them to her. We’ll see if I try to claw them back again!

Shivering from the cold kiss of winter I entered the warm temple-room in the space allowed for the pilgrims to present themselves to Kali. I washed myself in her flame, knelt to her and accepted the blessings of sacred ash and colour and food that washed the body of the Goddess.

Time passed faster in the terrace than it had passed for me in the Temple room last time I was there.

Dealing with the disappointment and the cold and the strange experience of finding myself on the edge again was a good thing.

What will be, will be.

I really did not expect what happened when we left the Temple to join the other pilgrims in eating blessed curry…

Facing Fears

06 Tuesday Sep 2011

Posted by Haloquin in Following Delight

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

challenge, Determination, Devotional, Facing fears, gratitude, Imperfection, Living Life, Magic, Music, Singing

Today I opened Pandora’s box and sang on stage.

Pandora's Box by JW Waterhouse

When we look in the dark corner of our minds we find spells woven by ourselves and the people around us - our friends are the ones who help us break the spells that hold us back and weave new webs of wonder. Open the box and face it with friends.

Not only did I sing on stage – I pushed for the chance to do so.

I was terrified.

And afterwards… people were supportive. No one laughed at me (though I think I made a few people giggle at my antics), the world didn’t end (though it might have crumbled a little round the edges) and I feel proud of myself.

The reason I could do this when my self-belief was shattered long ago by people I trusted? Dear friends who have helped me rebuild my confidence. And one particular person who faced her own, rather similar demon with me.

When we face demons together, we can conquer them.

When we spend time with people who put us down, the demons grow, even where there weren’t any before.

The people we spend time with are important.

Who in your life binds you with your fears? Who builds your demons up because of their own? And who stands by you, helping you to break the spells that hold you back?

Who in your life helps you to enchant your world for the better?

We enchant ourselves and each other with our words, its up to us to choose which enchantments we’ll accept in our lives, and which we will break.

I will be singing to an audience again… with gratitude to the people in recent years who have helped me break the chains that bound my wings.

Who stands by your side and helps you fly? They’re your true friends, know them well.

Solstice and Cycles

29 Wednesday Jun 2011

Posted by Haloquin in Magic, Reflections

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

cycles, growing things, Honesty, Imperfection, Living Life, Magic, musings, paganism, process, Strangeness of Life

Sunna and Manni - Jotun Tarot

The Sun and the Moon have their cycles, and so do we... parts of society have changed their cycles, trying to be linear, but we are still part of nature, still cyclical.

When I first stepped onto this peculiar path of paganism, I discovered frequent references to the importance of the ‘Wheel of the Year’, the ‘Festivals’, and cycles.

I duly camped at Avebury for every festival one year, watched the moon, made altars for the festivals and discovered my Moon sign. And all around me my life went on. I found early on that the feeling of when the tides changed didn’t always match the dates in the books. I also found that the old stories of the festivals didn’t always match the patterns of my life.

I went through school and academia… the year begins in the autumn, at the harvest time. How could that match with the harvest festival which declared a completion? The ending that was a beginning was Samhain – Halloween, 2 months later! And my years ended at the Summer Solstice… leaving a space for holidays and playtime and freedom. Summer was a time that was not a time. My life did not match the cycles I was reading about.

But the natural world did.

I marked the solstices and equinoxes as astrological events.

I acknowledged the markers of the cross-quarter festivals as markers of what the natural world was doing.

And I counted myself lucky to not suffer from SAD!

The nature of our world now is such that, through technology, we can manage our environment to a degree that lets us work when it is dark outside, and start and finish projects independently of the green growing things. We are still dependent on natural cycles for our health and our food, of course, but our day-to-day life has been massively divorced from those rhythms.

Many of us have come to believe that we linear beings, not cyclical. Our technology allows us to work the same length day in winter as in summer, to protect some of our crops from the worst storms, and to avoid the direct consequences when things do go wrong. While we may feel a pinch when the prices rise due to scarcity, its nothing to what the people starving feel.

So society encourages us to push ourselves, to work too hard, too long in the winter. To keep up summertime productivity all year round. And we can, technically, do so. But our health suffers.

I’ve long noticed personal patterns, personal cycles, that effect my life, and not only the obvious ones. I always get excited about new projects in the autumn, especially around Samhain. I get tired on the day of the full moon, and energised during the dark moon, and become withdrawn during the waning moon. I have periods where I work best on visual arts, periods where I am obsessed with my studies, and periods where all I can do is write about the Fae or work on my website. And these times spiral round in huge loops…

I’ve been quiet on here recently. I’ve been in a inward cycle.

I can’t apologise, although I’ve felt a little guilty at points, but I’ve come to realise that I have to honour these cycles. I’m learning how the astrological patterns effect me, and how my natural rhythms flow, and I’m slowly figuring out ways to prepare for quiet times so I can keep up with my commitments.

Learning about personal cycles, and how the natural cycles effect me, is taking a long time, a lot of patience, and constant awareness. But its proving worthwhile. Knowing that I don’t always have the energy for sharing my internal processes means I can honour myself when that is the case. Knowing when that will happen means I can prepare in advance!

How do you cope with the conflict between societies attempts at keeping us linear, and our natural tendency towards cyclical patterns? Have you mapped how your personal cycles intersect with the cycles of the sun and the moon? How has that helped you in a practical way?

I’m writing this on the Longest day of the year, although I won’t be posting it till next week, since I know that I’ll be tired again then, and probably feeling quiet! As I say, I’m learning to prepare, to honour my own cycles, and to practice self-care while honouring my commitments. Its an interesting balancing act. How do you do it?

Dreaming of a Grove

26 Sunday Jun 2011

Posted by Haloquin in Creative Process, Faery, Following Delight, Magic

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Art Craft and Beauty, Beginnings, challenge, Determination, Dreams, Faery, Feyhearted path, Heart, Imperfection, inspirations, learning, Living Life, Magic, musings, Philosophy, process, project, Strangeness of Life, Tools

The Enchanted GroveI have a dream…

A dream of a place where people can gather and share and support each other in the path of enchantment, of Faery, of magic and spirit.

A place which holds space for play and the search for delight in the everyday.

A place where people can discuss serious thoughts about a-rational things, and playful thoughts about serious things.

A place for art and music and devotion and learning and healing and empowerment.

A place where your religion doesn’t matter, where magic as metaphor and magic as real is equally as precious because it is the experience and the enchantment it gives you that matters.

An Enchanted Grove.

I dream that one day this will be a physical place, a tangible space, or maybe even many spaces across the world…

For now, I’m planting the seeds of an online grove… there are a few feylings there already and soon I hope to open it up to more wandering wonderers.

I’m making my dreams come true…

Would you care to join me?

Being a Creative Philosopher in an Analytic World.

26 Thursday May 2011

Posted by Haloquin in All Posts, Creative Process, Following Delight, Philosophy, Reflections

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choice, creativity, Determination, gratitude, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, inspirations, Intent, learning, Living Life, musings, Philosophy, Strangeness of Life

Emerging

Many things make up who we are - what do you share and what do you keep precious from the world? When do you ignore the 'sensible' and leap into what you love?

How often have I tried to hide?

I know it would be safer to keep my head down, to keep my lunacy separate from the rational academia in which I’m slowly-slowly carving a place for myself, and yet I also know that to hide is to deny myself.

So I shut my eyes and I leap.

I see a scary thing ahead, and I take a deep breath and tell my Sensible Self to close her eyes… and then the moon-kissed heart of me steps off the cliff and trusts the wind to carry her.

It’s never dropped me yet.

I know as well as you do the risks of being seen as crazy – it’s a not-so-secret fear of mine, you know? – if they see me and dismiss me I’ll be left out in the cold. If they think I’m crazy they’ll turn me away… I’ll lose friends and opportunities and it’ll all be for nothing.

So says my Sensible Self. She has good reason to believe these things, and yet I know that even if the worst happens, the Wind will not drop me. At least, he will not drop me far!

I’ve friends who have seen me star-struck and moon-kissed and standing on edges. I’ve friends who’ve stood beside me as I’ve opened doors and boxes which Sensible Me says would be better left closed. In leaping I’ve found people who encourage me to fly, even in the most unexpected places.

Those who shake their heads and sigh do not need to know my heart, but as long as I follow it, the Wind will carry me when the ground falls out beneath my feet. Those that know what flying means will soar with me, even if they ride another breeze.

And only those that understand dreams of flight are worth sharing my secrets with. Only those who already share a spark will understand what I say.

And so I come full circle.

No longer do I hide, but neither do I need to tell everyone I meet my deepest, brightest secrets. That those lights guide me is no reason to announce it to the world.

My dreams, my passions, my obsessions filter into my academic work, and you’d be amazed at how often people ignore the bits they do not understand. It’s not easy to have a touch of the irrational in a world of rationality, but they feed each other and both grow stronger from it.

I am me. Every day I learn to be more me, I am always becoming, and I do not hide…

But I do keep secrets.

***

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Enchanted Empowerment – Genesis

20 Friday May 2011

Posted by Haloquin in Creative Process, Following Delight, Philosophy

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Art Craft and Beauty, Beginnings, Commitment, Completion, creativity, Devotion, Feyhearted path, gratitude, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, inspirations, Intent, Journalling, process, project, reasons, Strangeness of Life, Tools

Purple Flying Fish

Enchantment and empowerment work together to transform our lives into something extraordinary!

You may have noticed a sudden invasion of flying fish on this site…

They are, in fact, a Sign!

A little while ago I was rolling the sense of enchantment on my tongue, wondering what was missing. I am a devotee of delight, constantly seeking to re-enchant my life and the world around me (though I’ll be the first to admit that its an ongoing saga, a work in progress for certain!) and yet there was something missing in my writings, something with backbone, something to give the enchantment strength… and so it came together in my mind!

The missing link was power; the power that rises from within, the power of choice, the power to shape our lives in the ways we choose.

As soon as the word ’empowerment’ clicked in my mind I understood: we need power to make our dreams come true, and we need to tap into the wonder of enchantment to shape our dreams in enchanting ways that feed our heart and souls.

And so the concept of ‘Enchanted Empowerment‘ was born!

This is so huge a concept that I felt the need to start at the beginning, and a week-long outline expanded into 6 months! I began, then, with Compass Building. Starting with where we are, Here and Now, a return to centre. Month one stands alone as a foundation for enchanted empowerment, and it will be built on further… first spiralling outward to the points of the compass, and then in creating a map to our dreams!

I don’t know where the flying fish came from, but once they appeared they’ve followed me since.

And they really do make me smile…

For more information on the course, and to sign up check out the page for month one here.

And for a weekly email of musings and updates sign up here!

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Meet Halo

Snow Pixie

Welcome to my world!

Halo Quin is an author, a storyteller, and a practicing witch with a lifelong relationship with the spirit realm (faeries, deities, and the primal powers of land, sea, and sky, specifically) who aims to share magic through experience. Halo lives in wild West Wales, right by the roiling sea, and loves to sing, dance, and otherwise enchant through performance. She also runs the local storytelling circle, and an ADHD resource centre, and ultimately encourages self-knowledge, self-acceptance, self-healing, and self-enchantment through everything she does... leading to:

Beauty ~ Magic ~ Delight

Re-enchanting the world, one story, one song, one spell, at a time.

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And for the over 18s… My alter-ego, Ms Quin, writes erotica, kinky poetry, on sacred sexuality and the like. You can explore some of Her writings and poetry readings, and find her sexy book of poetry via links at Twisted Ms Quin.

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