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Halo Quin

~ Author, storyteller, singer-songwriter, witch

Tag Archives: challenge

Limitations of Flesh

27 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by Haloquin in Dancing, Magic

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

challenge, choice, Commitment, dance, Determination, disability, gratitude, growth, hope, Imperfection, injury, Journey, learning, life, Living Life, Magic, moment, musings, paganism, process, spirits, Strangeness of Life

My knees are burning. My back is cramping. Tears stream down my cheeks in frustration. All I want to do is dance again. To move. To feel alive.

Wall of blank.

Exhaustion rises up, fog descends.

My mantra: I am lucky. This is temporary. This too shall pass.

I don’t believe it.

My body tells me that all there is is Now. Now is all. It might be correct.

I curl up on the floor. Empty.

I catch my breath. Numb.

Noticing, with strange detachment, that the world has become distant. That I’ve been a quiet automaton for hours, days… perhaps longer.

I breathe myself back into my body. Back into my feet. Back into the burning, aching flesh.

At least I feel alive.

I notice. Even restrained, even with the limits of movement, even with the fog and frustration, Here and Now, if I can keep my self in my belly, in my feet, in my hands, in my flesh… I can breathe and expand. The deeper into the flesh I go, the deeper into the magic. The deeper into the world I sink, the more I can expand, the more I am aware of. Oh it hurts, yes, but with each breath is life. With each prickly of goosebumps the wild spirits brush my skin with fingertips, tentacles, lips dripping in nectar.

The more present I am, the more present I am with Them. The gods stand behind me, the ancestors whisper in my ear, the spirits draw near. I can feel my edges, raise my shields, let down my hair, call out the cry of a Witch in the night.

The deeper into my body I can stay, when all my instincts are to flee, to float into painless disconnection, the closer the magic is.

Her and Now. Here and Now at the crossroads of every moment. Here and Now is where the web of Wyrd is woven, where the Power lies.

 

I am lucky, this too shall pass, this too shall return to the Fertile Darkness from whence it came, I am lucky, there are lessons here, if I can just stop running, just be Here and Now.

And in the stillness, I dance.

Put on Your Dancing Shoes – or take them off, it’s less slippery!

19 Sunday Oct 2014

Posted by Haloquin in Dancing, Following Delight, Reflections

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

ATS, beauty, Belly dance, challenge, Commitment, Dancing, Dancing in Wales, Devotion, FatChanceBellyDance, gratitude, Journey, Living Life, Strangeness of Life, Tribal Unity

I’d like to share something I’m very excited about right now and the story of how I’ve found myself shimmying round my day-job-shop when customers aren’t looking!

I’ve always known that I wanted to dance, but could never find the right style.

As a child I tried tap dancing, in my teens I attempted a contemporary dance class – which I mostly remember as running from wall to wall, over and over, never quite got where that was going – throughout my life I’ve read Gabrielle Roth’s books over and over. I tried salsa, which I couldn’t get my feet round… In fact, the only thing that worked for me was whilst at uni when I would go out, step onto the dance floor as soon as the doors opened and only leave to down a pint of water before returning to the dance for as long as the music played.

Until now. Last spring I had five weeks of tribal belly dance classes in the Black Sheep style. The teacher, Lyza, became a friend of mine through connecting afterwards to share dancing. At that point I suspected it would be another phase. A subject I would be excited about for a month or two and then would fade into the background. A few core things have stuck with me long-term but many many other passions come and go. I was secretly certain this might be one of those…

But that excitement didn’t go away. I researched the histories of belly dance. I practised what little I’d learnt under my own steam. I kept hoping to return…

And then Wendy launched an ATS(r) class in March and I couldn’t go! It clashed with the teaching course I was on and the seminars I ran. I looked at it every week, waiting for the course to finish so I could join in. In June, finally, I walked through that door and into a new tribe, Tribal Unity Wales.

I dash to class each Tuesday with joy in my heart. No other hobby  has ever had me this excited. Just two months of dancing with Tribal Unity and I managed a fortnight camping and trekking round Amsterdam, bookended by two 16 hour coach journeys, without back pain. (It was our honeymoon, and yes, it was fab!)

And it has so many layers! There is crafting and aesthetics for costuming, researching history, learning new steps, the challenge of getting to grips with them, constant opportunities for improvement, performance, the endorphins of exercise, music, self-expression, the flow of energy, stories, community and friendship, shows to watch, events to explore, cultures to investigate… and there are many different styles to learn about (and perhaps learn one day).

With so much to play with it is no wonder I’ve found myself thinking about it almost constantly!

This Friday we performed at Lampeter’s World Dance festival. I made so many mistakes, almost fell over with soft shoes on a slippery floor, missed cues, got confused… and yet could not stop grinning. I loved it. Dancing with these lovely ladies, sharing something that has brought me so much delight and returned my strength, and challenging myself to improve all combined to fill me with delight. Tribal style belly dance has utterly enchanted me and I feel like I’ve come home.

Friday’s performance, my first time dancing in public:

The moral of this story? Keep looking, keep trying, keep putting that desire out there even when you don’t know exactly what it is you want. Eventually the Universe will bring you to precisely where you need to be. And even if you make mistakes and feel like it is all going wrong, it is still beautiful and the world doesn’t end! It is preparing you for what is to come next…

Dreaming Big before 30!

24 Sunday Aug 2014

Posted by Haloquin in Creative Process, Following Delight

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

challenge, Commitment, Completion, Journalling, Journey, Living Life, musings

This summer I moved house, got married and turned 29. Before this I presented my first aesthetics paper in a conference outside of my home-uni, in Hungary no less, had two philosophy pieces accepted for publication, three pieces of pagan related writing accepted for anthologies, and sold some art.

It’s been an exciting year. Re-enchantment really works!

Given that it’s my last year as a twenty-something I’ve decided to celebrate by setting myself some big challenges (because I enjoy making things happen) and attempting to match this year for excitement (which may be a tall order!) and I know they’re more likely to happen if I hold myself accountable, so…

Goals before I turn 30:

Publish 3 more pieces of philosophical writing

Finish the bulk of my PhD first draft (that’s about 50,000 words to write)

Visit 3 new places (preferably abroad)

Exhibit artworks twice (UPDATE: 1/2 done 27/09/14 – Art exhibition ‘A River of Animals‘ at the Confucius Institute in Lampeter’s 10th anniversary)

COMPLETED! Perform twice in public – storytelling, singing or something else! (UPDATE: 1/2 done 27/09/14 – Storytelling ‘A River of Animals’ at the Confucius Institute in Lampeter’s 10th anniversary UPDATE: 2/2 DONE! Dancing with Tribal Unity Wales at Lampeter World Dance Festival on Friday 17th October!)

Share my Fae work somehow – perhaps in a devotional book, a workshop or a talk?

Create a second Oracle Deck – Healing Hearts (which I’ve committed to anyway)

Learn to play 3 songs on the guitar that I can also sing to

They sound like a stretch, but an achievable one.

My plan to succeed? To combine projects. I’ve applied to perform animal stories at a local event where they would also exhibit some artworks. The Healing Hearts project will come with both stories to perform and art to exhibit, and writing my thesis leads to philosophical diversions which can be submitted for publication. And hopefully I can find places to perform, speak or present philosophy that I’ve never been to before. The guitar learning is just for fun 😉

So, who would like to exhibit some beautiful deity artworks? Who would like to host a storytelling evening? And who wants to hire me to talk to your group about faeries, enchantment and making life magic? Or do you know someone else who might want to host my work?

And who wants to share their goals? Who has a big dream (or three) for the next year and would like their declaration of intent witnessed? Comment below!

Oracles and Completion

28 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by Haloquin in Art Craft and Beauty, Enchanted, Faery, Reflections

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Art Craft and Beauty, challenge, Completion, creativity, Faery, Faery Queen, Feyhearted path, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, Journey, Magic, musings, oracle cards, process, project, Strangeness of Life, Tools

Not so long ago a parcel arrived in the post. It was addressed to A World Enchanted. I was so excited! I spent months putting together a deck of Oracle cards and for almost a year I’ve been using one I printed myself… now I have a professionally printed deck and three to sell!

My Oracle Deck!

The Completed Deck!

I’m really proud of my work and the printed cards are beautiful. It works perfectly for uncovering what is in your heart and the heart of the world and the simple readings I did for others were very well received.

And somehow I’ve completely avoided posting about them here. I haven’t put the 3 decks I have for sale in my shop, I haven’t told you about them properly, I haven’t done anything with them beyond using them for myself.

Why?

Despite how it may appear, I struggle with being visible. I struggle with putting my work out there and allowing it to be seen. I struggle with completing projects and releasing them into the world. Artworks contain such a part of the artist’s spirit that an entire deck of my art makes me very visible and so, sharing them, I feel very vulnerable.

This New Year I am considering ‘Wholeness’ as my word for 2013. A word that includes the concept of completion and of being whole in myself. A word that speaks of safety, strength and holiness. Sacred Completion. A guiding light to help me overcome this block and share more beauty with you.

And today I am posting my Oracle Decks in my shop. There is more to do to complete this project than put the information up, however. I need to spread the word. I need to share this beauty, be seen, be known. So here I write and contemplate where to share with others what I have done!

Oracle Deck Set for sale

The FeyHearted Oracle and Guidebook!

Here is the page on A World Enchanted for the FeyHearted Oracle Deck for your enjoyment. If you feel called I would love for you to share this page with your friends and anyone you think might enjoy the deck!

May you find it easy to complete the things you wish to do and share your gifts with the world!

Map-Making Step 1 – Prepare the Page

14 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by Haloquin in Enchanted, Faery

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Beginnings, challenge, Commitment, Devotional, Enchantress, Faery, Faery Queen, Feyhearted path, Heart, Intent, Map, Strangeness of Life

For the past few years I’ve been picking my way down a dimly lit path through the forest, following a song just barely heard but so insistent it cannot be ignored.

Long time readers here have seen me return and return again to my attempts at drawing out the map of where I’ve been, where I need to go. I share because, in part, I discover and explore this path through writing and in part I feel compelled to share what I’ve found in case others find it helpful… and the few voices that have replied to tell me that seeing my sharings reassures them that they are not alone have reassured me in turn.

I wrote The Faery Heart as a guidebook to uncovering one’s Fae self, the magic of your heart. Pixie Kisses came from a project for enchanting your own life. Both start with the self and the home.

Now it is time to move outwards.

The seeds I’ve been planting in my own life, in the soil prepared by the work of self-discovery and making space for enchantment, are growing and I know of no better way to nurture, strengthen and develop the seedlings than to write and paint through the journey.

So here I go again. Sharing pieces of my work with you all here.

***

The new moon is breaking through the darkness. The ground is laid. The next stage of training the Enchantress must begin!

I have begun where I am.
(Where are you in your life?)

I have explored who I am.
(Who are you? What roles do you play? Who do you wish to be?)

I have made space for magic, for Faery, for Enchantment in my life.
(How can you make space in your life for enchantment?)

Each of these are continual steps, a never-ending process of self-discovery, of making space and of choosing the path again and again from where I am right now and I have reached a point where the foundation is strong enough for me to explore the landscape and share some of the map I am drawing. Not everything is shareable because some magics are a mystery and no two paths are the same but I can shine a light on the page and, perhaps, it will illuminate the road-name you have been searching for too.

May the map of a world enchanted help you to find your path to Faery and Home again!

Musings on Queenship

12 Tuesday Jun 2012

Posted by Haloquin in Faery, Following Delight, Magic, Philosophy, Queenship, Reflections

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Beginnings, challenge, Commitment, creativity, Determination, Faery, Faery Queen, Feyhearted path, Heart, inspirations, Journalling, Journey, musings, Queenship, Strangeness of Life

I was challenged, given a quest, to become Queen of my life. First I want to know what that means… so I asked. What does it mean to be queen? A Queen, but not to hold power over other people… to be sovereign in one’s own life, I suppose…

My studio. My temple. My Throne? Where I make magic, where life is understood, where change begins. Art allows me to be fully myself. When I paint, I come home. If being Queen is having sovereignty over one’s life, then this must be the heart of my realm.

What would it mean to be Queen?

Queen of my life? My heart, my art?

A Queen rules her realm

My realm is my self

A self, a realm, a life.

To rule

To lead

To protect

To hold within all that belongs to one…

I rule my self.

Queen of my life, my heart, my art.

There is space for what I love

And I am responsible for making what I wish come true.

No waiting for another.

I am Queen of my life.

Whatever I wish

I must command it so.

No other may

No other can

In my realm

I am the sun, the moon, the stars

And each who I encounter is sovereign in their realm,

As I am in mine.

I rule my self.

Queen of my life, my heart, my art.

I hold the power of my realm

Only I

I choose

I cause

I create

My Beltane Quest

08 Friday Jun 2012

Posted by Haloquin in Following Delight, Magic, Reflections

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Beginnings, challenge, Devotion, Faery, Faery Queen, Feyhearted path, Honesty, Intent, Journey, Living Life, Magic, musings, process, Strangeness of Life

The thread of fate weaves through the tapestry of life… like Ariadne’s thread leading you to your centre, to the heart of your life.

Beltane. The turning of the year from darkness to light.

A time of transformation, of beginnings, of springing into the future.

A time where that which you have dreamt over the long winter nights can enter the world…

It has been a magical month, Beltane coincides with May Day and this year May itself became the day on which the year turned!

It began with the full moon’s growing before May itself. A birthday party. Divination by the river… a call to sovereignty. My question was; how can I make a living doing what I love?

The answer; first you must be Queen.

Well, what do you do with an answer like that?

I committed to finding Sovereignty in my life, trusting that it would become clear. And so began my Beltane quest.

I wonder; what is the quest you are on right now? What is the quest waiting for you?

 

(Watch this space for the unfolding of the story…)

An Offering – Mini-Create with Care Workbook!

13 Sunday May 2012

Posted by Haloquin in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process, Following Delight

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Art Craft and Beauty, challenge, Commitment, creativity, Faery, inspirations, Living Life, process, Tools

Create With Care Mini-Workbook

Click to sign-up to my list to receive the Mini-workbook…

Hello Folk!

You might have seen my recent post inspired by Creating With Care in which I talk about the reasons why creative folk would be best off respecting nature when we work. It can be tricky to work out how we are to do that however, so I’ve crafted a mini-workbook to help, which I offer here for your enjoyment 🙂

All you need to do is click the image in this post and you’ll be guided through a process which signs you up to my newsletter and delivers the link for you to download the mini-workbook all ready for you to print in colour or black and white, complete with tips and instructions to help you get the most out of it!

I’m excited to be able to offer this mini-book and I’d love to hear what you think 🙂

In Delight,,

~Halo x

Longing for space…

02 Friday Mar 2012

Posted by Haloquin in Creative Process, Following Delight, Reflections

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Art Craft and Beauty, challenge, creativity, Determination, Feyhearted path, Imperfection, Living Life, Magic, musings, process, Strangeness of Life

Pink Winged being flying

Can I spread my wings and allow myself to be bigger than I am already? Can I keep growing and exploring and playing? Can I afford to keep playing small? Can you?

Something in this post by Pixie has cracked my heart.

I gazed at the images of her filling her new space, of her Pandora’s box and giant thirsty canvasses, and my breath caught in my throat.

I’ve long longed to spread colour on larger canvasses, to have a bright space full of sunshine and shelves and drawers and places to put my paints within easy reach… I’ve long kept my artworks small because my living space seemed to require it.

But what if that isn’t so?

What if that cannot be so?

What if I can spread out and create the space I need in this wonderful home of ours?

What if I only think I cannot spread my wings out as far as I wish to?

What if my thinking small, my playing small, is the only thing keeping me that way?

Maybe I’ll try a bigger canvas and decide it isn’t for me… but I have everything to lose by never trying… and much to gain if I do.

Time to stop waiting for the right time.

Open, Breathe, Remember.

You cannot run from what you hold inside…

27 Tuesday Dec 2011

Posted by Haloquin in All Posts, Magic, Reflections

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

challenge, Fear, Living Life, Magic, Ocean, Power, process, Strangeness of Life

I’m learning what it means to hold an ocean inside me.

Oil Painting - Water Gate

Light shines from the depths

For so long I ran from water – fearing the depths of the ocean which engulfs, the river which sweeps away, the floods which drown. I knew its power, this water, I turned from it not because I thought it held no power but because I feared it because I knew its power.

Now I come to learn that I hold an Ocean within me. How can you hold an ocean within you and not break?

Trying to keep it contained lead to cracks through which it seeped.

I tried to build a relationship with Water outside of myself. This did not work. What I’ve come to realise is that what I ran from was what I carried within me. You cannot run from what you hold inside.

I feared that it would break me. If I had not begun the process of accepting it… it would have done.

Slowly I feel my way through holding an ocean within my self. Slowly, like the turning of the tides, I come to find the depths within my core, the power and the freedom there. Simply acknowledging that Water is so much a part of Me relaxed something clenched so tightly. Relaxing into my own nature, a source of perhaps my greatest power, allows me to hold it without breaking.

I will not be washed away as long as I remember that I AM the Water.

I have run from the things that hold power for me so often.

What do you run from? Which of those things hold power for you?

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