I’m learning what it means to hold an ocean inside me.
For so long I ran from water – fearing the depths of the ocean which engulfs, the river which sweeps away, the floods which drown. I knew its power, this water, I turned from it not because I thought it held no power but because I feared it because I knew its power.
Now I come to learn that I hold an Ocean within me. How can you hold an ocean within you and not break?
Trying to keep it contained lead to cracks through which it seeped.
I tried to build a relationship with Water outside of myself. This did not work. What I’ve come to realise is that what I ran from was what I carried within me. You cannot run from what you hold inside.
I feared that it would break me. If I had not begun the process of accepting it… it would have done.
Slowly I feel my way through holding an ocean within my self. Slowly, like the turning of the tides, I come to find the depths within my core, the power and the freedom there. Simply acknowledging that Water is so much a part of Me relaxed something clenched so tightly. Relaxing into my own nature, a source of perhaps my greatest power, allows me to hold it without breaking.
I will not be washed away as long as I remember that I AM the Water.
I have run from the things that hold power for me so often.
What do you run from? Which of those things hold power for you?