Whimsy
13 Friday May 2011
Posted in Art Craft and Beauty
13 Friday May 2011
Posted in Art Craft and Beauty
23 Saturday Apr 2011
Posted in All Posts, Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process, Magic
Tags
Art Craft and Beauty, Beginnings, creativity, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, inspirations, Journey, Magic, musings, Passion, Play, process, reasons, Strangeness of Life, Suggestions
I’m an artist! Yay!
I make pictures and share them with people…
And I get sad that they are never quite what was in my head.
28 Monday Mar 2011
Posted in All Posts, Magic, Pentacles, Reflections
Tags
Art Craft and Beauty, choice, Commitment, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, inspirations, Intent, Iron Pentacle, Journalling, Journey, learning, Living Life, Magic, musings, Philosophy, Suggestions, Tools
What do I know?
What are my skills?
What have I learned in my time incarnated?
We all know something so well we forget others may not understand it.
We all have skills we have learnt to help us survive.
When we begin to know ourselves, we begin to know what we know… Who we are includes our skills and knowledge, and who we are is expressed through that which we have invested much energy learning about. We are, in the world, what we do; our actions are a true reflection of what and who we are… Even when we wish we were different.
What do you know?
How do you express that knowledge?
When you act from what you know you express that part of yourself in the world. Only you can share that knowledge, those skills, that understanding in that way.
Know what you know, and know how you express your knowledge, and you will know who you are… And, perhaps, what you need to change in your expression in order to become the best you that you can be.
Know your self.
Know your skills.
Know your role in your world…
14 Monday Feb 2011
Tags
Commitment, Determination, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, Intent, Iron Pentacle, Living Life, Magic, Suggestions, Tools
For the past couple of days I have been sharing thoughts about the points of the Iron pentacle, a meditational tool for self transformation used within the Reclaiming Tradition.
I have spoken of the points of Sex and Pride, and now we move from the bottom, right-hand point up into the left hand point of Self.
Self. Is there even such a thing?
An ancient puzzle poses the question: if all the planks on a ship are replaced, one by one, over the years, is it still the same ship?* And, likewise, we can ask, if every part of our body and personality changes, over the years, are we still the same self when we are old as when we were born?
There is a continuity of memories, of personality, of a body that takes up space through time. This continuity, the combination of our memories, beliefs, personality, energies and body, makes up a whole self. Self shifts and changes over time, growing and transforming.
How can we say, then, that Self could be considered a foundation stone of human existence? Something damaged by our culture and in need of reclamation for many of us?
Self is not some kind of ‘essence’ in this context, I’m not talking of spirits or souls. Self, here, is who we are in the world.
Accusations of selfishness are taken seriously, so seriously that we will often go too far the other way and neglect ourselves. This idea of being self-less is spoken of as though it were the ideal, but to neglect our own needs leaves usless able to help others or to make positive change in the world.
Who you are and who you choose to be are both important.
Look at your self.
What do you do that is by choice? Which roles do you choose for yourself, and which are forced upon you? Which do you fall into, unthinking, simply because it is expected of you? And which are expected of you and you do by choice anyway?
How do you take care of yourself? How do you neglect yourself?
What is in the constellation of yourself? Can you look in the mirror and see yourself for yourself? Can you commit to giving yourself what you need, in body, mind and spirit, wherever possible?
Can you look at the roles you have taken on and see which feel like a good fit, and which you would choose to shed, and which you’d like to grow into?
Take a few moments throughout the day to just breathe and ask yourself if what you are doing right now is good for you, or harmful. And allow yourself to wonder how you would feel if you did what fit you, rather than what you think you should do.
Today is Valentine’s day. Can you give yourself the gift of love? Can you love your Self, who you are and who you choose to be?
12 Saturday Feb 2011
Tags
Determination, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, Iron Pentacle, Living Life, Magic, musings, Pride, Reclaiming, Tools
“We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” ~ Marianne Williamson
The second point of the Iron pentacle, as we move through the body, from the top point, Sex, to the bottom right, is Pride.
Pride is a cardinal sin for the Christian foundation of our culture.
Pride comes before a fall… the meek shall inherit the earth… and so on…
We are warned against getting big-headed, or too big for our boots. We are chastened against pridefulness, for it leads, we are told, to tripping over our too-big feet.
In our world, today, pride is mistaken for arrogance.
The emphasis on false humility, on self-deprecation, on keeping ourselves small, is all so we do not rock the boat. If we stand up tall, being as big and as bold and as beautiful as we can be, then we can rock the world! Staying small, denying our ability, denying the ways in which we are great, all this does is deny the world of the best of us.
Pride, right-sized pride, in which we acknowledge what we are and have done and are capable of as a good thing, as something to be proud of, comes alongside right-sized humility. When we recognise our own worth, we can recognise the worth of others.
We are special, we are important, we are unique. And so is everyone and everything else.
We all have our places, we all have things we can do like no-one else.
Be proud of yourself, like you would a child who had acheived something wonderful. Encouragement and self-recognition and acceptance is what will help us to be the best we can be, do the best we can do, and to change the world for the better.
Be proud of yourself, take pride in your work, be proud of the world. In doing this you are not being arrogant, instead you are recognising your worth and what you can do for the world. If you refuse to recognise and act on this then you are denying the world of what you could do for it.
Be proud of yourself, and recognise that others are equally as important to the world. If you place yourself over them, claiming to be more important than they, then this is arrogance. Knowing the ways in which you are better at specific things, and recognising that they have thier own skills and beauties, keeps us balanced. Support each other, praise each other, recognise that we all have value simply by existing.
Notice how you hold yourself in the world, how you value yourself and others. Notice if you are prone to self-deprecation, or to cutting others down. Notice when you belittle what you are proud of, or when you focus on what you feel you have done wrong in order to beat yourself up.
Notice these things and try to shift your language, in just one instance each day.
When someone compliments you, say thank you instead of downplaying it.
When someone does something well, offer praise in a positive way, instead of pointing out the ways in which it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things anyway.
When you do something well, or something hard, don’t hide it away. Put a little comment somewhere on Facebook or Twitter, or say something to a friend about how you feel you did good. Notice where you get good feedback from, and if you get a negative response, consider not sharing the things you are proud of with that person or forum again.
Recognise your own value, and the value of all the beings in the world, and don’t settle for those that try to keep you small because of their own lack of pride.
Breathe. Every day you live through is a gift, and mistakes are worth noting and learning from, but it is not worth letting them define you.
Breathe and draw yourself up to your full height. Be proud.
“Your playing small does not serve the world.”
30 Sunday Jan 2011
Tags
choice, Honesty, Imperfection, Journalling, Living Life, Magic, process, Strangeness of Life, Trust
There is no such thing as coincidence.
Everything is connected.
The number of times this past year I’ve been worried about something, and the minute I let go and hand it over to Aumakua, my Godsoul and the Godsoul of the universe, when I hand it over to Spirit, God Herself, the Universe, when I just let it go and trust… and the solution arrives.
When I ask for help, it comes.
When I said: I don’t know how I’ll find a new home in the place that I love, but that is where I want to be… paths opened.
When I said: I don’t know how I can afford to live in Wales again, when there seems to be no work there, but it is what I choose and I trust that it will be ok… the next day a way for it to work arrives.
When I said: I have no idea how I can pay these bills and get through this month without landing in a mess… a cheque for a tax refund from 5 years ago arrived in my hand.
This is part of being a witch. I sit with myself and reach an understanding of who I am and what I Will. I make a choice. I Trust that it will all be ok. I step forward. The Universe steps with me.
And other people are doing the same, creating the world. Sometimes my choices are inc onflict with others. Often my choices are in conflict with what I actually Will because I’m not clear enough. I don’t ask for everything I need because of complexes and beliefs which get in the way. I compromise on what I’m askign for because I’m scared to ask for the big thing I actually want.
And I journal and muse and sit and listen. I breathe and connect and hope.
And I’m learning to trust.
Since I began on this path I’ve had message after message – let go. Trust. Leap.
I’m learning to, little by little.
And trust is rewarded in very practical ways.
I am so grateful. Big love to all those beings out there who guide me gently, who push me firmly, who point me at the cliff and remind me that I have wings to fly with.
***
For a practical discussion of a clearly laid out method for putting ego to one side, getting clear on what you want, and asking for it in a way that gets results, I’d recommend The One Command by Asara Lovejoy. A friend leant me a copy and reading it illuminated exactly what I’d been doing. This stuff works.
12 Wednesday Jan 2011
Posted in All Posts, Creative Process
Tags
challenge, choice, Commitment, Completion, creativity, Determination, Devotion, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, Intent, Journey, life, Living Life, process, reasons, Strangeness of Life
Its a strange feeling, being between lives.
I’ve a good sense of who I am and what I want… its just making that choice, stepping, with both feet at once (a leap, really) into the future I’ve turned towards. It looks like I’ve chosen, but I’m not quite committed, not yet.
I’ve burned the bridge back, amicably but definitely.
I’ve been given, handed on a silver platter, an opportunity to make the transition easily, and it still feels so hard because I’m scared.
What if? What if?
I’m deep-down-in-my-very-core terrified. And I know its this way or nothing. It feels so right. I’m scared and certain, at the same time. Fear and desire, those dancing twins.
From the tension, as Thorn has taught me, can be born a new thing, a third thing, a proud thing. I can make a choice, and raise the new-born peacock high.
What am I choosing? What have I turned my caravan* towards?
I’ve chosen to move back to the green hills of Wales (though I’ve kept my job in England as a safety net), I’ve chosen to start writing more seriously, both academically and magically (see the Feyhearted blog for a weekly project which has been weekly for 6 weeks, and is scheduled to be weekly for another 2 weeks already. I’m not only continuing a project, I am actually ahead of deadline! Go me!). I’ve chosen to do what will make me happy, rather than follow the trail of shoulds that have been threatening for a year.
I successfully buried an important thing there. Something I don’t really belive but, look! See all the times I do it! I appear to be becoming a…
Writer.
Artist I get. Witch I get. Academic, student, dreamer… all things I’ve long accepted. I still ignore the label ‘writer’. Its important to me. I write all the time. More than I make art. And I have trouble with it. Despite having written a book. Having written many short stories. Having kept a sporadic blog (or 5) for years. Having written essays and dissertations… and having enjoyed the process.
So yes, I’ve chosen to be a writer. Among other things. Since, if you don’t do/know/love other things, what do you write about?!
There are other ways, other commitments I am in the process of making, like actually releasing my old home and becoming present in my new home. This one feels key though… I find, strangely, that I love to write, I long to.
A writer.
Right.
*Caravan. Yep. Havi is a pirate queen, Eileen has a sailboat. I like stability, I like having a home, I like freedom and colour. I have a gypsy caravan. I might talk more about this later. I might not. We’ll see.
07 Friday Jan 2011
Posted in Faery
Tags
challenge, choice, Commitment, Faery, Feyhearted path, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, inspirations, Journalling, life, Living Life, Suggestions, Tools
This is the sixth post in a series of suggestions for re-enchanting your life, one pixie kiss at a time. The introduction is here, and you can watch the path unfold here.
Who are you?
Who do you dream of being?
To be enchanted without becoming lost it is key to know your own heart, the centre of your self, the home of your soul. So now we turn from the space around us, and the beings that are our allies, and the enchantment already in the world, to face our own selves.
02 Saturday Oct 2010
Posted in Art Craft and Beauty, Following Delight
Tags
Beginning, Creation, Exhibiting, Fears, hope, Imperfection, learning, Living Life
Hanging paintings on a public wall feels a little like exposing my heart to the world.
Knowing that, Monday lunchtime, office workers will file into the canteen past my pictures, lovingly crafted but still revealing the inadequacies of my skill, the limitations of time and materials and money and…
Today I hung 5 of my paintings in a corridor of the NPower HQ in Swindon, alongside other artworks, by other members of the Swindon Artists’ Forum.
I expected to feel shy and inadequate seeing my work alongside such glories as I know the other artists create, but it seems I’ve come a long way. I didn’t feel embarressed. I could see the differences in style, and still appreciate what I’d made.
I’m actually proud of my art! How awesome is that?
And still, theres a little knot of uncomfortable-ness at the thought that people will pass these pictures, will pass judgement on them, and therefore on me. Art comes from a very deep rooted place in my heart. Even when it looks like doodles to passers by…
I’m excited. Its wonderful to be able to share these, and I hope hope hope that my pictures will brighten someone’s day along the way. And, if someone buys one, then so much the better (that is the only way I’ll find out if anyone likes one, after all! Unless someone makes the effort to send me an email just to say I’ve made something beautiful, which is possible.)
And I’m scared.
And thats ok.
For those of you who don’t work in that particular building, here are the pictures I took to commemorate this momentous occasion with:
22 Thursday Jul 2010
Posted in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process, Following Delight
Tags
Determination, Friends, gratitude, Imperfection, learning, Play, Pride, process
and lacey things…
I decided to teach myself to knit. I had somewhat of a headstart because relatives had shown me the basics when I was small, but having forgotten most of the details (apart from that it involved looping string through other loops until the long, thin, twisted fibres magically transformed themselves into something wide and flat and warm) I figured that it counted as teaching myself.
The basics were easy, though I was grateful for the fluffiness of the wool which hid some of the early inconsistencies (i.e.: holes and unintended increasing and decreasing).
I knitted bags full of squares using one stitch; knit. Knit knit knit. Turn. Knit knit knit.
I chose the most beautiful balls of colourful wool and knitted each whole ball into a colourful patch, though I had little clue what I would do with them. It was still fun. (These are now half a blanket, it needs resewing properly, but is really funky.)
I knitted scarves, similar principle, knit knit knit, turn, knit knit knit… until you have something long enough to wrap around you and fluffy enough to look pretty. (And done when you’ve made something longer than it is wide, an easily finished project is always a good place to start for me!)
And then I began to wonder what else I could do.
I bought a book. Stitch and Bitch.
Really rather useful. This taught me how to pearl! A new stitch! And it had instructions for picking up dropped stitches, and shared details on how this alchemical process of knitting works. I chose two patterns, bought some wool and spent 18 months knitting a rucksack and a hoody (without a hood, so I guess its just a jumper.)
And then…
I saw a friend knitting socks. I’d heard that they were difficult, she made them look easy. I imagined wearing warm, colourful creations on my feet… and I asked her how she made the heel work.
And then I forgot everything she’d told me. Darn.
Still determined, I found a heelless sock pattern, some chunky red wool, and I made my very own pair of socks!!!
They are too big, and the pattern makes them uncomfortable to wear in shoes… but they’re mine, and they make wonderful slippers! And, to top it off, they remind me of how inspiring my friends can be. Thanks WD!
I’ve learnt that the best way to learn something is just to do it, to pick a pattern and try it out. If it turns out wonky, then I’ve still learnt something!
What have you been putting off? What could you just have a go at?
Now, I’m learning how to make knitting lacey. I undid the first inch five times before it started to make sense (under the patient guidance of the same sock-knitting friend) There are less mistakes with every inch I do, and at the end I’ll have a pretty blue top… even if it is three sizes too small!!!
Oh, and one last thing, every time I look over how far I’ve come with these things, I can see how much I’ve learnt, how much my skills have improved (before I started this pattern I’d never knitted holes on purpose before!) I am filled with pride. I know it won’t be perfect, and the mistakes and visible improvement and clear markers of what I am proud of: the fact that I’ve set out to learn something, and I have! Mixed with the pride is profound gratitude; gratitude that I have these opportunities, gratitude for friends that help, gratitude for time to learn, gratitude for everything that gives me the opportunity to learn almost any skill I choose to.
Pride and gratitude. A really good feeling.
What are you proud of? What do you wish you were proud of?