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Halo Quin

~ Author, storyteller, singer-songwriter, witch

Tag Archives: Determination

Dreaming of a Grove

26 Sunday Jun 2011

Posted by Haloquin in Creative Process, Faery, Following Delight, Magic

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Art Craft and Beauty, Beginnings, challenge, Determination, Dreams, Faery, Feyhearted path, Heart, Imperfection, inspirations, learning, Living Life, Magic, musings, Philosophy, process, project, Strangeness of Life, Tools

The Enchanted GroveI have a dream…

A dream of a place where people can gather and share and support each other in the path of enchantment, of Faery, of magic and spirit.

A place which holds space for play and the search for delight in the everyday.

A place where people can discuss serious thoughts about a-rational things, and playful thoughts about serious things.

A place for art and music and devotion and learning and healing and empowerment.

A place where your religion doesn’t matter, where magic as metaphor and magic as real is equally as precious because it is the experience and the enchantment it gives you that matters.

An Enchanted Grove.

I dream that one day this will be a physical place, a tangible space, or maybe even many spaces across the world…

For now, I’m planting the seeds of an online grove… there are a few feylings there already and soon I hope to open it up to more wandering wonderers.

I’m making my dreams come true…

Would you care to join me?

Being a Creative Philosopher in an Analytic World.

26 Thursday May 2011

Posted by Haloquin in All Posts, Creative Process, Following Delight, Philosophy, Reflections

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choice, creativity, Determination, gratitude, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, inspirations, Intent, learning, Living Life, musings, Philosophy, Strangeness of Life

Emerging

Many things make up who we are - what do you share and what do you keep precious from the world? When do you ignore the 'sensible' and leap into what you love?

How often have I tried to hide?

I know it would be safer to keep my head down, to keep my lunacy separate from the rational academia in which I’m slowly-slowly carving a place for myself, and yet I also know that to hide is to deny myself.

So I shut my eyes and I leap.

I see a scary thing ahead, and I take a deep breath and tell my Sensible Self to close her eyes… and then the moon-kissed heart of me steps off the cliff and trusts the wind to carry her.

It’s never dropped me yet.

I know as well as you do the risks of being seen as crazy – it’s a not-so-secret fear of mine, you know? – if they see me and dismiss me I’ll be left out in the cold. If they think I’m crazy they’ll turn me away… I’ll lose friends and opportunities and it’ll all be for nothing.

So says my Sensible Self. She has good reason to believe these things, and yet I know that even if the worst happens, the Wind will not drop me. At least, he will not drop me far!

I’ve friends who have seen me star-struck and moon-kissed and standing on edges. I’ve friends who’ve stood beside me as I’ve opened doors and boxes which Sensible Me says would be better left closed. In leaping I’ve found people who encourage me to fly, even in the most unexpected places.

Those who shake their heads and sigh do not need to know my heart, but as long as I follow it, the Wind will carry me when the ground falls out beneath my feet. Those that know what flying means will soar with me, even if they ride another breeze.

And only those that understand dreams of flight are worth sharing my secrets with. Only those who already share a spark will understand what I say.

And so I come full circle.

No longer do I hide, but neither do I need to tell everyone I meet my deepest, brightest secrets. That those lights guide me is no reason to announce it to the world.

My dreams, my passions, my obsessions filter into my academic work, and you’d be amazed at how often people ignore the bits they do not understand. It’s not easy to have a touch of the irrational in a world of rationality, but they feed each other and both grow stronger from it.

I am me. Every day I learn to be more me, I am always becoming, and I do not hide…

But I do keep secrets.

***

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Beltane! Art! Possibilities!

04 Wednesday May 2011

Posted by Haloquin in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process, Reflections

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Art Craft and Beauty, Commitment, creativity, Determination, Faery, gratitude, Heart, Honesty, inspirations, Living Life, musings, Strangeness of Life

Ink swirls form into shapes, like rorschach tests they show to us our hearts... I see a dancing faery goblin, what do you see?

I’m so excited that the summer is here! (For my readers in the Southern Hemisphere, thank you for letting us have our turn with the sun 🙂 )

Even though this past week has been really tough, it feels like the world is full of possibilities.

Beltane is that time when the past falls away and you can step into the future, so it makes sense that now is the time that things are shifting towards more freedom, even as it brings less certainty.

Just this last week my beautiful babbit died, circumstances surrounding my job have become unstable, and my partner rolled and wrote-off our car. So we’re pet-less, car-less and soon to be job-less…

Despite this, we’re both rather positive about life, it really feels like a door is opening, even though I can’t see it and have no idea where its leading! I don’t know how I’m going to pay my bills without a job, or get a new one with no transport, but somehow, I know it’ll be ok.

I’m at that point of breathing deeply and hoping I see the opportunity as it comes round the corner in time to grab it with both hands and ride!

Its hard, and its sad, and its scary, and yet… there is hope.

I spent Beltane-day itself making art… the colours flowed across the page and images emerged! I love making pictures so much and I’m trying to find ways of sharing the joy with other people, so many of the pictures I made this weekend will be landing on Etsy. I plan to post each one here first with a story or a poem or a little bit of writing to accompany it so you can see the story behind the paint!

And, secretly, I’m working on a special offering, an e-course on enchanted empowerment… keep watching this space for more!

In the meantime, how many people would be up for a series of posts on the nature of creativty? A little bit of philosophy, a little bit of inspiration, a little bit of practical-how-to on finding your confidence and creating intuitively? Comment below and let me know if you’d be interested… and what you might like to hear about.

PS: You can subscribe to my weekly newsletter if you like, with musings not posted on the blog, just go here! Or use the links above-right to sign up to my newsletter, the blog, or both! 🙂

Feyhearted – Pixie Kiss 14 – Casting a Glamour of Wonder

04 Friday Mar 2011

Posted by Haloquin in All Posts, Faery

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challenge, creativity, Determination, Devotional, Faery, inspirations, Living Life, Magic, Strangeness of Life, Suggestions

This is the fourteenth post in a series of suggestions for re-enchanting your life, one pixie kiss at a time. The introduction is here, and you can watch the path unfold here.

“Glamour Bombing” a form of artistic and poetic terrorism that involves acts of random beauty, inspiration, joy, magic or wonder with the purpose to raise ambient levels of glamour in the environment, glamour being the unique magic of the fae.

A glamour bomb is any public act or work that aims to inspire genuine curiosity and childlike befuddlement, a change of thought process, belief in magic, belief in the fae, and/or a sense of wonder in the recipient.

~From the glamourbomb ‘Tribe.net’ page

 

If you’ve been following the music for a while, letting these kisses from the pixies enchant you, enchantment should be blossoming in your life… cultivating a sense of wonder is a magical act.

Allowing enchantment into your heart is a good step, but perhaps you feel called to share some of that wonder with the world?

One way to do this is to practice the art of ‘glamourbombing’.

Continue reading →

Iron Pentacle – Self

14 Monday Feb 2011

Posted by Haloquin in All Posts, Magic, Pentacles

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Commitment, Determination, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, Intent, Iron Pentacle, Living Life, Magic, Suggestions, Tools

For the past couple of days I have been sharing thoughts about the points of the Iron pentacle, a meditational tool for self transformation used within the Reclaiming Tradition.

I have spoken of the points of Sex and Pride, and now we move from the bottom, right-hand point up into the left hand point of Self.

Self. Is there even such a thing?

An ancient puzzle poses the question: if all the planks on a ship are replaced, one by one, over the years, is it still the same ship?* And, likewise, we can ask, if every part of our body and personality changes, over the years, are we still the same self when we are old as when we were born?

There is a continuity of memories, of personality, of a body that takes up space through time. This continuity, the combination of our memories, beliefs, personality, energies and body, makes up a whole self. Self shifts and changes over time, growing and transforming.

How can we say, then, that Self could be considered a foundation stone of human existence? Something damaged by our culture and in need of reclamation for many of us?

Self is not some kind of ‘essence’ in this context, I’m not talking of spirits or souls. Self, here, is who we are in the world.

Accusations of selfishness are taken seriously, so seriously that we will often go too far the other way and neglect ourselves. This idea of being self-less is spoken of as though it were the ideal, but to neglect our own needs leaves usless able to help others or to make positive change in the world.

Who you are and who you choose to be are both important.

Look at your self.

What do you do that is by choice? Which roles do you choose for yourself, and which are forced upon you? Which do you fall into, unthinking, simply because it is expected of you? And which are expected of you and you do by choice anyway?

How do you take care of yourself? How do you neglect yourself?

What is in the constellation of yourself? Can you look in the mirror and see yourself for yourself? Can you commit to giving yourself what you need, in body, mind and spirit, wherever possible?

Can you look at the roles you have taken on and see which feel like a good fit, and which you would choose to shed, and which you’d like to grow into?

Take a few moments throughout the day to just breathe and ask yourself if what you are doing right now is good for you, or harmful. And allow yourself to wonder how you would feel if you did what fit you, rather than what you think you should do.

Today is Valentine’s day. Can you give yourself the gift of love? Can you love your Self, who you are and who you choose to be?

 

*The Ship of Theseus

Iron pentacle – Pride

12 Saturday Feb 2011

Posted by Haloquin in All Posts, Magic, Pentacles

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Determination, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, Iron Pentacle, Living Life, Magic, musings, Pride, Reclaiming, Tools

“We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” ~ Marianne Williamson

The second point of the Iron pentacle, as we move through the body, from the top point, Sex, to the bottom right, is Pride.

Pride is a cardinal sin for the Christian foundation of our culture.

Pride comes before a fall… the meek shall inherit the earth… and so on…

We are warned against getting big-headed, or too big for our boots. We are chastened against pridefulness, for it leads, we are told, to tripping over our too-big feet.

In our world, today, pride is mistaken for arrogance.

The emphasis on false humility, on self-deprecation, on keeping ourselves small, is all so we do  not rock the boat. If we stand up tall, being as big and as bold and as beautiful as we can be, then we can rock the world! Staying small, denying our ability, denying the ways in which we are great, all this does is deny the world of the best of us.

Pride, right-sized pride, in which we acknowledge what we are and have done and are capable of as a good thing, as something to be proud of, comes alongside right-sized humility. When we recognise our own worth, we can recognise the worth of others.

We are special, we are important, we are unique. And so is everyone and everything else.

We all have our places, we all have things we can do like no-one else.

Be proud of yourself, like you would a child who had acheived something wonderful. Encouragement and self-recognition and acceptance is what will help us to be the best we can be, do the best we can do, and to change the world for the better.

Be proud of yourself, take pride in your work, be proud of the world. In doing this you are not being arrogant, instead you are recognising your worth and what you can do for the world. If you refuse to recognise and act on this then you are denying the world of what you could do for it.

Be proud of yourself, and recognise that others are equally as important to the world. If you place yourself over them, claiming to be more important than they, then this is arrogance. Knowing the ways in which you are better at specific things, and recognising that they have thier own skills and beauties, keeps us balanced. Support each other, praise each other, recognise that we all have value simply by existing.

Notice how you hold yourself in the world, how you value yourself and others. Notice if you are prone to self-deprecation, or to cutting others down. Notice when you belittle what you are proud of, or when you focus on what you feel you have done wrong in order to beat yourself up.

Notice these things and try to shift your language, in just one instance each day.

When someone compliments you, say thank you instead of downplaying it.

When someone does something well, offer praise in a positive way, instead of pointing out the ways in which it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things anyway.

When you do something well, or something hard, don’t hide it away. Put a little comment somewhere on Facebook or Twitter, or say something to a friend about how you feel you did good. Notice where you get good feedback from, and if you get a negative response, consider not sharing the things you are proud of with that person or forum again.

Recognise your own value, and the value of all the beings in the world, and don’t settle for those that try to keep you small because of their own lack of pride.

Breathe. Every day you live through is a gift, and mistakes are worth noting and learning from, but it is not worth letting them define you.

Breathe and draw yourself up to your full height. Be proud.

“Your playing small does not serve the world.”

~ Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

Feyhearted – Pixie Kiss 11 – Seeing Faeries without Sight

11 Friday Feb 2011

Posted by Haloquin in All Posts, Faery

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Tags

Determination, Faery, Feyhearted path, Honesty, Intent, Living Life, Magic, Philosophy, process, reasons, Science, Strangeness of Life, Suggestions

This is the eleventh of a series of suggestions for re-enchanting your life, one pixie kiss at a time. The introduction is here, and you can watch the path unfold here.

I’ve always looked for faeries, and very rarely seen them.

I often feel them, however, or know that they are near.

It turns out that not everyone can translate their experiences into something visual, and that is ok. This means, however, that in a world which emphasises sight so much, we can overlook our own experiences in the pursuit of a pattern which does not suit us, as I did for a long time.

Always looking, rarely seeing, but I knew they were there. I knew there was something to see… when I finally gave up on seeing, I found them.

Don’t worry, then, if you cannot see them. They are still there.

Continue reading →

Becoming a… choosing to… leaping…

12 Wednesday Jan 2011

Posted by Haloquin in All Posts, Creative Process

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challenge, choice, Commitment, Completion, creativity, Determination, Devotion, Heart, Honesty, Imperfection, Intent, Journey, life, Living Life, process, reasons, Strangeness of Life

Its a strange feeling, being between lives.

I’ve a good sense of who I am and what I want… its just making that choice, stepping, with both feet at once (a leap, really) into the future I’ve turned towards. It looks like I’ve chosen, but I’m not quite committed, not yet.

I’ve burned the bridge back, amicably but definitely.

I’ve been given, handed on a silver platter, an opportunity to make the transition easily, and it still feels so hard because I’m scared.

What if? What if?

I’m deep-down-in-my-very-core terrified. And I know its this way or nothing. It feels so right. I’m scared and certain, at the same time. Fear and desire, those dancing twins.

From the tension, as Thorn has taught me, can be born a new thing, a third thing, a proud thing. I can make a choice, and raise the new-born peacock high.

What am I choosing? What have I turned my caravan* towards?

I’ve chosen to move back to the green hills of Wales (though I’ve kept my job in England as a safety net), I’ve chosen to start writing more seriously, both academically and magically (see the Feyhearted blog for a weekly project which has been weekly for 6 weeks, and is scheduled to be weekly for another 2 weeks already. I’m not only continuing a project, I am actually ahead of deadline! Go me!). I’ve chosen to do what will make me happy, rather than follow the trail of shoulds that have been threatening for a year.

 

I successfully buried an important thing there. Something I don’t really belive but, look! See all the times I do it! I appear to be becoming a…

Writer.

Artist I get. Witch I get. Academic, student, dreamer… all things I’ve long accepted. I still ignore the label ‘writer’. Its important to me. I write all the time. More than I make art. And I have trouble with it. Despite having written a book. Having written many short stories. Having kept a sporadic blog (or 5) for years. Having written essays and dissertations… and having enjoyed the process.

So yes, I’ve chosen to be a writer. Among other things. Since, if you don’t do/know/love other things, what do you write about?!

There are other ways, other commitments I am in the process of making, like actually releasing my old home and becoming present in my new home. This one feels key though… I find, strangely, that I love to write, I long to.

A writer.

Right.

 

 

*Caravan. Yep. Havi is a pirate queen, Eileen has a sailboat. I like stability, I like having a home, I like freedom and colour. I have a gypsy caravan. I might talk more about this later. I might not. We’ll see.

Getting things Done, or: A little at a Time

31 Saturday Jul 2010

Posted by Haloquin in Creative Process

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Determination, Priorities, process, Production

I have a lot of projects, let’s face it. Many things I like to do, many things I’m working on at any given time.

People usually  look surprised when I tell them what I’m up to, and they often ask how I find time to do everything I’m doing.

A family member looked over my website recently and assumed I was working in collaboration with other people, how could one person do that much? That many different things?

My secret? I do everything a little at a time.

I have lots of projects because I’m in the mood to do different things at different times, and I have the capacity to do different things depending on the situation… like the lunchbreak at work is not conducive to painting with oils, but making an ATC in watercolours, writing a Haiku, scribbling in my journal or reading a philosophy article: each of these takes a short period of time and no more stuff than I can fit in my handbag.

I made a habit of always having a small journal, sketchbook, knitting project or philosophy book in my bag every time I leave the house. And often I carry two of these things so I’ve a choice. (This is why I carry almost as much with me for an evening out as for a weekend away!)

Over the course of the week I read a whole book, or draw several cards, or knit most of a top.

By the end of the month I’ve finished several projects… most of which I started months ago and have been working on for ages!

Each individual project takes a long time, but I always have something to do if I want to, and I feel very productive because I’m regularly finishing things.

I’ve often heard people say that you can find time for anything you want to do, and it’s true. That half hour at lunch, every day, has breathed life into many creations.

The other secret? If you have something you want to do, just do it.

Knitting Socks

22 Thursday Jul 2010

Posted by Haloquin in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process, Following Delight

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Determination, Friends, gratitude, Imperfection, learning, Play, Pride, process

and lacey things…

I decided to teach myself to knit. I had somewhat of a headstart because relatives had shown me the basics when I was small, but having forgotten most of the details (apart from that it involved looping string through other loops until the long, thin, twisted fibres magically transformed themselves into something wide and flat and warm) I figured that it counted as teaching myself.

The basics were easy, though I was grateful for the fluffiness of the wool which hid some of the early inconsistencies (i.e.: holes and unintended increasing and decreasing).

I knitted bags full of squares using one stitch; knit. Knit knit knit. Turn. Knit knit knit.

I chose the most beautiful balls of colourful wool and knitted each whole ball into a colourful patch, though I had little clue what I would do with them. It was still fun. (These are now half a blanket, it needs resewing properly, but is really funky.)

I knitted scarves, similar principle, knit knit knit, turn, knit knit knit… until you have something long enough to wrap around you and fluffy enough to look pretty. (And done when you’ve made something longer than it is wide, an easily finished project is always a good place to start for me!)

And then I began to wonder what else I could do.

I bought a book. Stitch and Bitch.

Really rather useful. This taught me how to pearl! A new stitch! And it had instructions for picking up dropped stitches, and shared details on how this alchemical process of knitting works. I chose two patterns, bought some wool and spent 18 months knitting a rucksack and a hoody (without a hood, so I guess its just a jumper.)

And then…

I saw a friend knitting socks. I’d heard that they were difficult, she made them look easy. I imagined wearing warm, colourful creations on my feet… and I asked her how she made the heel work.

And then I forgot everything she’d told me. Darn.

Still determined, I found a heelless sock pattern, some chunky red wool, and I made my very own pair of socks!!!

My first Sock! Heelless!

They are too big, and the pattern makes them uncomfortable to wear in shoes… but they’re mine, and they make wonderful slippers! And, to top it off, they remind me of how inspiring my friends can be. Thanks WD!

I’ve learnt that the best way to learn something is just to do it, to pick a pattern and try it out. If it turns out wonky, then I’ve still learnt something!

What have you been putting off? What could you just have a go at?

Now, I’m learning how to make knitting lacey. I undid the first inch five times before it started to make sense (under the patient guidance of the same sock-knitting friend) There are less mistakes with every inch I do, and at the end I’ll have a pretty blue top… even if it is three sizes too small!!!

Lacey Top in Progress

Oh, and one last thing, every time I look over how far I’ve come with these things, I can see how much I’ve learnt, how much my skills have improved (before I started this pattern I’d never knitted holes on purpose before!) I am filled with pride. I know it won’t be perfect, and the mistakes and visible improvement and clear markers of what I am proud of: the fact that I’ve set out to learn something, and I have! Mixed with the pride is profound gratitude; gratitude that I have these opportunities, gratitude for friends that help, gratitude for time to learn, gratitude for everything that gives me the opportunity to learn almost any skill I choose to.

Pride and gratitude. A really good feeling.

What are you proud of? What do you wish you were proud of?

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(c) Halo Quin ~ author, storyteller, witch

Re-enchanting the world, one story, one song, one spell, at a time.

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