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Halo Quin

~ Author, storyteller, singer-songwriter, witch

Tag Archives: Living Life

Art class drop out

14 Wednesday Jul 2010

Posted by Haloquin in Art Craft and Beauty, Creative Process

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

choice, Creation, Determination, Devotion, Dreams, Giving up, Healing, Imperfection, learning, Living Life, Starting Over, Strangeness of Life

When people walk into my room, they often comment on all my art on the wall. They don’t know how I believed I’d never make art like this.

I wear my world on my sleeve, so to speak. I remember hiding in the library at school, half the time I’d be reading stories or books about psychology or religion, the other half of the time I’d be drawing.

I almost failed GCSE art. I dropped out of Art A-level after a month.

I knew I loved making art, and yet I could barely pass the class.

For years I doubted my ability, lacking formal training, how could I really make art? How could I be an artist?!

And still I kept at it. In fits and starts, not so much an undeniable impulse but more like a slowly building pressure, only relieved by the soothing sound of colours stroking the page.

There is, simply, nothing like it.

Once I start, I never want the process to end at the same time as impatiently longing to see the finished picture.

I couldn’t jump through the hoops of formal training because, frankly, I just wanted to make art.

I dropped out of art class after a month.

I wanted the skills, but the formality was destroying me.

When I went to university to study Philosophy I secretly thought I’d left art, sadly, irrevocably, behind me. I could still draw, doodle, play, but I could never really be an artist.

But then I found myself painting, drawing, more and more… I painted my thoughts out for an essay, then wrote the essay based on the painting. Friends loved the art I made, asked me to make piece for them, which sit proudly on their walls.

Somehow, I’d dropped out, and tuned in.

Somehow, as an art-class drop-out, I found I could still be an artist.

I am grateful that I only gave up on my dream for a moment, and, in returning to myself, I find myself here… making art.

It makes me wonder what dreams the people around me have given up on, even if they haven’t realised it. It reminds me why the old cliché exists: it is never too late to do what you love, to be who you are, regardless of what the world might think.

Run, Run! – or The Beltane Fire Festival

18 Tuesday May 2010

Posted by Haloquin in Magic

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Devotion, Faery, Faery Queen, Journey, Living Life, Ritual, Scotland, Storytelling, Strangeness of Life

Go! Go!

The May Queen has passed!

We watched her, saw her, ascend, descend over the steps before us.

We watched, saw, the fire-lighters start the nied fire.

We watched, we saw, the path cut through the crowd, past us, past us, the procession moved past us.

We ran!

Run! Run!

Do not lose her! Never lose her!

We ran, ran, over the grassy hill, down a tunnel of bodies bemused by the sudden space where magic had passed us.

And found ourself stopped. In the cold. Behind the wall of blue-faced men who told us no.

Stopped. Lost. Cold.

No. We smiled. No. We can say no too.

We said no, said yes.

Our band of fey-folk flew apart, found our places. Mine and hers, my beltane-friend, our place was running!

We followed the Queen, she led our hunt!

We flew, cross the hill, round and about, past people bemused, over rocks and dips that lifted us gently over their treachorous forms (one fey-folk twisted her ankle, others sat with the stillness of the rocks holding their bones, we, somehow, flew unscathed, the earth herself letting us pass).

We flew! Flew! From space to space, always, just and perfectly, keeping pace.

For long stretches we flew beside her, so close as to almost touch her, but always striving to respect the boundary which kept her safe. (So grateful, I am, to the blue-faced folk that kept us all at bay. So grateful, while I longed to touch her. So grateful for that line, uncrossable, sacrosanct.)

Sometimes the crowd became too tight, too close, too confused, and we flew away, to the edges, still running.

Time and again we let the stillness touch us. I pointed the direction, she led the way. Together we flew, together, mapping out  a perfect path.

At every space the procession stopped we found a niche, once the fire-space came upon us unexpectedly and we watched, entranced, by the spinning flames and the red-people charging, the white-people keeping the line, the line that must be crossed. The pain of division.

We saw Him die and rise again, his dance frenzied in the strobe-light of camera-flashes.

Their kiss, love shining from them like a star.

The red and white, chaos and order, together, united, in love.

Each element, a gift in themselves.

The whole path winding round and round, the serpent of great Beltane found.

We watched, we flew, we laughed.

We were touched by madness, running in the wake of her winter-hunt, running like the joyous hounds of hell as the sun-fire rose and burned away the last of the winter’s dark.

We ran, flew, followed… and we rejoiced.

The fire festival, a ritual carving its own space through a crowd, deliberately confused.

This was no mere spectacle, but a marvelous sacrifice of life to life for life in life.

Life rises like the sun.

The May Queen blessed us all.

The fires of our hearts ignite as the sun kisses our skin, and they will never die.

Squidmonsters and kittens

17 Wednesday Mar 2010

Posted by Haloquin in Following Delight

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

choice, hope, Kittens, Living Life, Pandora's Box, Priorities, Reflection

~ A Templesmith inspired meander…

On the hive-brain that is Twitter I once asked Ben Templesmith this:

Out of curiousity… I love your style but squirm at the subject,

have you ever drawn, say, a kitten? (Without tentacles?)

And his response was:

Nope, I don’t draw nice things generally. It’s the bad stuff

that happens in life that defines us after all, not the banal/cutesy

While I really appreciate his taking time to respond, and the limited space of Twitter… I disagreed:

Really? Only the bad stuff that defines us?

I can understand not banal/cutesy, but ruling out good/beautiful/happy as defining?

And that’s where this post comes in, I’ll not get into the argument that kittens are not necessarily merely banal/cutesy, though they can be, but I will present another perspective.

Both kinds of life experiences define us.

Its too often that I’ve come across people who feel that they are shaped primarily by the bad stuff in their life. Yes, that has an effect on who you are and how you interact with the world, but so do events like winning awards, having children, getting happily married and living past your golden wedding anniversary together, and on a smaller level, even experiencing a beautiful sunset can set the tone for an evening, a night, or a whole week.

When we can be defined by both the joy and the sorrow in our hearts, why only settle for one half of the equation?

What is your Delight?

03 Wednesday Mar 2010

Posted by Haloquin in Following Delight

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Beginning, choice, Determination, growing things, Imperfection, Journey, Living Life, Play, Priorities

I know you’ve got time,
But what are you waiting for?
~The Feeling

Every now and then it hits me: life is short. Life is wonderful and amazing and full of so many things to play with… and it is short.

I have so many projects on the go that its a rare day I find time for all of them, but they are all in pursuit of the same thing, the exploration of delight.

If I see something I want to do, I have started to just say yes. If I can find the time and the money to do something I’d love to (and if I really want to, I can) then I will. Which is why I have a billion projects or so! There is a pattern, as I said, all my projects are part of one project, one goal in life.

My game is Delight, what’s yours?

What would you do if you had the time and the money to pursue your game?

What makes your heart sing?

I write, study philosophy, make art, learn new crafts, travel, walk in the woods, play with my rabbit, grow roses, learn languages, play with poi, meet friends, perform amatuer dramatics, sing in the bath…

What makes you happy? What is it you wish you were doing? And how can you do it with the resources you have right now??? I’d love to have a garden and am in temporary rented accomodation, so I’m keeping roses in a fish-tank, and growing herbs in another. I’d love to travel more, so I put aside a little cash every paycheck and save up for interesting events. I carry a sketchbook and a journal with me everywhere. What little things can you do to follow your dreams? How do all these things fit together into a pattern?

What is your game, your delight?

Starting this site is a recognition for me of my over-arching game, my opening to delight.

What are you waiting for?

Newer posts →

(c) Halo Quin ~ author, storyteller, witch

Re-enchanting the world, one story, one song, one spell, at a time.

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