Unwanted Attentions

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Turn your coat now inside out,
to send their glance around you.
Hold an iron nail close,
to pin you to the ground.
Rowan hung above the door,
will keep their hounds at bay,
and blessed salt marks boundaries,
to send them on their way.
Wouldn’t it be right and sweet
if this worked on mere mortals?
Seems like only Faery folk
behave just like they ought to.

 

~ Winter Solstice 2017

from the collection All That Glitters

The Changeling Child

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One eye brown and one eye green,
cheekiest child that you’ve ever seen,
oak’s ancient knowing held deep in those dreams,
strange for a small one, not quite as he seems.
Do not be wary, do not take fright,
if you care for him always he’ll keep safe the night,
but if you would rather a meek child returned,
then fair’s our exchange, so you’ll lose what you’ve learned.

~ Winter Solstice 2017

from the collection All That Glitters

Looking for Faeries

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For glint of glitter in the air,
the flash of light that has no care,
for Tinkerbell and Barker’s Fae
I’d search and search both night and day.

Deep in hedges, high in trees,
thorn-scratched palms and muddied knees,
never once a-wavering
I knew I’d find my Faery Kin.
I knew that Oberon was near,
I knew Titania’s voice I’d hear,
I knew the whispers on the wind,
would delight and magic bring.
I held no thought of wishes three
nor gifts brought from the fae to me,
all I sought for hard and long,
was to learn that magic song,
just to feel enchantment’s grace,
and magic’s kiss upon this place,
I had no doubt that it was near,
and so I hunted with no fear.

Finally my wish was granted,
in my heart the knowledge planted,
underneath the old Yew-tree
their light arrived surrounding me.
I read them poems, sang them songs,
they took me to their realm ‘ere long,
and I learned to walk the ways
‘tween faery twilight and our days.

One word of warning I will share,
if you take magic in your care,
a changeling you will always be,
always betwixt and wandering.
Never home in either place
but blessed with sweetest faery grace,
one foot planted in each world,
whichever way they twist and turn…

 

Once they’ve caught you you are theirs,
and not all that glitters does play fair,
so if you choose enchantment’s grace,
know there’s a price that you must pay.
But even with that warning told,
I know what they knew of old,
the cost indeed it may be high,
but with their blessing you will fly.
And once you’ve been there you will find,
you could not leave that bliss behind…

 

Winter Solstice 2017

from the collection All That Glitters

XXI: Universe

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XXI: Universe

Blinking we enter the light of the sun,
Forged by the night and the ways that we’ve been,
Possessed by our selves our work has begun.

Deep in our bones are the truths that we’ve won,
Starlit and knife-edged and inkdrenched and keen,
Blinking we enter the light of the sun.

All hiding discarded, unbinding is done,
each chain we still carry uncovered and seen,
Possessed by our selves our work has begun.

Through some gates we struggled, through other’s we’ve run,
regardless we’ve ended betwixt and between,
Blinking we enter the light of the sun.

Life’s curses are real though we are all One,
Paradoxical magic; the gift of night’s Queen.
Possessed by our selves our work has begun.

We leapt and we landed, with wings or with none,
We take up our journey to keep our hearts clean;
Blinking we enter the light of the sun,
Possessed by our selves our work has begun.

 

~ Autumn Equinox 2017

from the collection Showing My Hand

XV: Devil

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XV: Devil

Ah, shit.
I knew you’d find me.

Sooner or later, the devil comes to call.
With his bright eyes and dancing feet,
with his laughing, sharp, teeth.
With his invitation
to see
just how heavy those chains you chose
really are.
Just how easy it would be to pick the lock.
And which bars on the cage
are you,
and cannot be easily left behind,
but probably should be.
(The answer is: most.)

~ Autumn Equinox 2017

from the collection Showing My Hand

XIII: Death

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XIII: Death

Each box in my home overflows
with stories.
Each book; a history.
Each piece of cloth; memories.

But more, more than what has been,
each belonging
holds the possibilities
of longing.
And to let it go is heartbreak.

My home is built of longings,
wishes, dreams.
My life is built of the future;
what could become.
So whatever could be scarier
than letting go?

~ Autumn Equinox 2017

from the collection Showing My Hand

VI: Lovers

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VI: Lovers

Love is… a choice in every moment,
to dance together,
move together,
to not let the insurmountable
challenges of life
be the end of us,
(until it is).

Love is… a choice in every moment,
to let those gentle embers,
flames of passion,
stars of possibility,
light the way.
If not forever,
then for today.

 

~ Autumn Equinox 2017

from the collection Showing My Hand

0. Fool

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0: Fool

As long as I wore the glamour
I could fool myself
that I would never fall.

The daydreamer’s mantle
protects one from being taken seriously,
you know?

Some day, not long,
it grows heavy with the weight
of misunderstanding.

The fall is inevitable,
it is only the manner of landing
which is in question.

 

~ Autumn Equinox 2017

from the collection Showing My Hand

After the Tower, The Star Rises

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Two violet booklets with a butterfly emerging from a crysalis depicted on the cover, on a wooden surface. Title: "Showing My Hand: a Poet's Tarot, by Halo Quin".

XVII: Star

Tell me,
my dreams,
which of you are true?
Which celestial spark points North
and leads me to my cave,
my court,
my stage?
And which is the lighthouse,
warning of the shallows
where sirens live?
Where do the rivers
of sleep lead?

 

 

In the spring of this year, I fell apart.

Some wonderful things happened. Some hard. I railed against the limitations I felt caged by. I explored ways of finding and making space.

The wheel turned, and everything changed. And nothing changed.

A birds-eye view of a lit, large cream candle, lighting a stainless steel pen and a journal page with a quote "the best way to predict the future is to create it." and a purple ribbon bookmark.The trick to magical manifestation, I have always found, is to be clear on what you truly desire. When everything you’re holding together begins to fall apart, struck by lightning perhaps, you can no longer ignore the cracks. When beautiful things appear in your life they highlight the parts you’ve allowed to become stagnant.

 

Under the light of the stars, I find my clarity. I have stories to share, of how I became an accidental published poet, and discovered I’ve always been a Bard. I joined an Order, which makes me chuckle, and I’ve learned that I really am wired differently to the majority of people. And finally, finally, I can see a path ahead for my studies. I’ve wandered for several years without direction, buried under the weight of my thesis despite my gratitude for the opportunity. And now, perhaps, I’ve chosen a destination…

 

An altar lit by a bright lantern-candle in the dark, outside, with apples and drinking cup barely visible.And I’ve found a way to dance again! I can no longer dance for hours every week in ATS Belly Dance, but I can strap my knees and back up (corsetry is surprisingly useful for this!), indulge in some spirits, and relax into freeform dancing as long as I listen to my body.

There is light in the darkness, always, and always more tales to tell.

 

 

Limitations of Flesh

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My knees are burning. My back is cramping. Tears stream down my cheeks in frustration. All I want to do is dance again. To move. To feel alive.

Wall of blank.

Exhaustion rises up, fog descends.

My mantra: I am lucky. This is temporary. This too shall pass.

I don’t believe it.

My body tells me that all there is is Now. Now is all. It might be correct.

I curl up on the floor. Empty.

I catch my breath. Numb.

Noticing, with strange detachment, that the world has become distant. That I’ve been a quiet automaton for hours, days… perhaps longer.

I breathe myself back into my body. Back into my feet. Back into the burning, aching flesh.

At least I feel alive.

I notice. Even restrained, even with the limits of movement, even with the fog and frustration, Here and Now, if I can keep my self in my belly, in my feet, in my hands, in my flesh… I can breathe and expand. The deeper into the flesh I go, the deeper into the magic. The deeper into the world I sink, the more I can expand, the more I am aware of. Oh it hurts, yes, but with each breath is life. With each prickly of goosebumps the wild spirits brush my skin with fingertips, tentacles, lips dripping in nectar.

The more present I am, the more present I am with Them. The gods stand behind me, the ancestors whisper in my ear, the spirits draw near. I can feel my edges, raise my shields, let down my hair, call out the cry of a Witch in the night.

The deeper into my body I can stay, when all my instincts are to flee, to float into painless disconnection, the closer the magic is.

Her and Now. Here and Now at the crossroads of every moment. Here and Now is where the web of Wyrd is woven, where the Power lies.

 

I am lucky, this too shall pass, this too shall return to the Fertile Darkness from whence it came, I am lucky, there are lessons here, if I can just stop running, just be Here and Now.

And in the stillness, I dance.