I have always dreamed of doing something almost exactly like this, a quiet, persistent wish that I return to again and again but never quite believe it to be possible. One day… a sustainable way of living. A home with wheels. Travelling light (which may be the hardest task of all as I’m such a hoarder!). Blessed by the stars. Taking creativity and performance and magic to people round the country. As a child I was fascinated by the idea of ‘gypsy’ caravans. As a teen I brushed against the idea of being a new age traveller. Both seemed impossible; one a dream of cultural misappropriation, the other drug-addled and full of drama. I toyed with the idea of touring festivals in the summer but wasn’t even sure where to begin… so I didn’t.
And then, the other day this dream wandered across my FB feed. Hedgespoken is a vehicle for the imagination and a beautiful, creative, sustainable home. I am jealous and envious and oh-so excited for them.
I realise I’ve spent most of my life gathering skills suitable for this kind of life including; tarot reading, art-making, singing, acting, writing, holistic therapies, magic, teaching, storytelling and most recently belly dancing and clothes/costume making… I’ve always always dreamed of the romantic idea of the life of a traveller, a wayfarer. The one thing I’ve refused to do, the one thing that would actually make it a possibility, is learn to drive (it terrifies me). Is this self-sabotage? The whole thing seems impractical, impossible and hopelessly romantic. Not to mention that my husband hates the idea of living in a converted bus! And yet…
Still I dream. And now I see more evidence of how it is possible. I make a donation as a spell to help them reach their dream and a wish towards my own. I wonder if I really want to live such a tough lifestyle. If I’m up to it? But then, perhaps it is only as tough as the life I’m living, just in ways I’m unaccustomed to.
For some reason I have spent the last decade in seeming diversion, I’ve dedicated a huge chunk of my life to something I also love, but which seems diametrically opposed to the wayfaring lifestyle – academic philosophy. I adore it. I love lecturing and giving papers. And it feels both part of this dream and something contrasting it.
And so I return to where I am. Let me finish my PhD and continue honing my skills. Let me dream my Wayfaring home into being, even if it exists alongside a home with roots. Even if it only exists for a summer. Let me find the wandering wonder I’ve longed for since I was young enough to dream.
In my heart I am a Wayfarer, though I fear the reality would prove that I only love the idea of it… and perhaps that is why I’ve yet to commit to it!
If you’ve read this far, I thank you and I’d love to hear… What are your weirdest dreams, the ones you return to again and again but never quite can bring yourself to speak aloud?
Wendy Steele said:
Never lose sight of your dreams…carry them with you, indulge them with talk and pictures so when, or if, you can turn that dream into a reality, you will know what you really want:-)